


Trace my lips (with the taste of your skin)

by chailattemusings



Series: old queers and new queers [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Bondage, Casual BDSM, Dominance, Food Play, Kink, M/M, Orgasm Denial, Pet Play, Sex Toys, collaring, role play, sub space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:23:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2411480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chailattemusings/pseuds/chailattemusings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan Haywood had spent his whole life dating men in his own circle. Sexually open, blatantly gay, and willing to try anything new. After weeks of confusion and miscommunication, Ryan and Gavin fell for each other, and have been happily dating for several months. But Gavin is nothing like Ryan's past boyfriends, not least because anything labeled 'kink' frightens the shit out of him. Ryan wants to introduce Gavin to the more adventurous side of sex; will their relationship survive all the ideas Ryan has in mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. expose the vulnerable part of you

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to "I'll trade vision for voice." Gavin still lives with Geoff in this story. You can read the prequel if you like but the story stands on it's own just fine.
> 
> Another note: subspace is not treated accurately in the story. When I wrote it I had the impression that it was riskier than it actually is. Subspace is perfectly safe when reached with a caring dom who does proper aftercare, and in this story it is treated more negatively than it should be based on the context of inexperience. It's a positive experience when shared with a proper dom.

For what felt like the millionth time in the past week, Ryan gave a heaving sigh, and closed out of the Internet browser he'd opened on his desktop. The four tabs he'd been using closed, and the window vanished, leaving Ryan staring at the colorful pattern of his desktop background.

He leaned back in his chair, putting both hands on his face to rub his eyes, savoring the satisfaction of rubbing the ache from them. For the past few hours, he had clicked around the same website, browsing through it and considering his purchasing options, only to close it before making a decision, the same as he'd been doing all month.

Recently, Ryan had cleared out his closet, including his collections of various sex toys. And now, the plastic shelving, sitting behind his rack of clothes and the line of shoes on the floor, was looking bare. He took out every toy that was either not usable or no longer fun, either because he was bored of it or because he bought it for a partner with kinks that didn't interest him, and threw them away or recycled them as the material allowed. It was the biggest clear out in a couple years, and after he opened his closet for shirts and jackets numerous times and caught sight of the half empty storage shelves, Ryan thought he ought to buy a few new things to fill it back up.

The last time Ryan bought sex toys, he'd been single. Now, he had Gavin.

It was wonderful, he couldn't deny that. After pining over him for weeks and the entire debacle when Gavin frightened himself over his own insecurities, to be able to say they were dating was a joy. A couple months had passed, and while Gavin still shied away from public displays of affection and steered the guys in the office away from the topic of relationships if they brought it up in a video, he was more than happy to shower Ryan in kisses and kind words when they were alone, or on a date to a place where Gavin thought he wouldn't get spotted by fans. They had lengthy discussions, and after a while Gavin settled on the label bisexual, but he knew people could be relentless and might start a shitstorm if word got out that he and Ryan were together. For the time being, it was okay to keep things quiet.

What Ryan _didn't_ like was Gavin's refusal to explore anything in the bedroom.

He wasn't opposed to it, per se. But any time Ryan asked if he wanted to try using toys or if they could roleplay different scenarios, Gavin politely turned him down. Later, he said. He wasn't ready. Ryan did his best to be understanding. Gavin let him display his dominant side, listening when Ryan growled at him to lie still, or letting his body go pliant under Ryan's ministrations. Sometimes he would beg, and it sent tingles through Ryan to hear his voice strain when he got teased.

By Ryan's standards, though, it was tame as fuck, and after the first few weeks together, he was itching for more. Toys, costumes, _anything_ that hinted at what Ryan was used to. The men he dated in the past loved trying almost anything, and while sweet, loving encounters could be fulfilling, it didn't make for his favorite activity. Ryan wanted more.

He tried playing on his own. It worked, to a point. Unfortunately, one day Gavin had caught him at it.

Most days, Gavin went home with Ryan or Ryan hung out at Gavin's loft at the Ramsey house. They needed alone time, too, so two or three times a week they would go home alone and let themselves unwind and find space from the relationship. Gavin had gone home with Geoff one Thursday, and Ryan thought he could use the time to do something he hadn't had the chance to do with Gavin. When he got home, he went to his bedroom, stripped down, and dug out some toys to play with, a cock ring and an external vibrator.

But Gavin had a tendency to leave his stuff at Ryan's place, and ten minutes later he'd popped into the house with the key Ryan gave him, chattering on about how Geoff brought him over so he could get his phone charger.

He'd stopped dead center, staring at Ryan. It took entirely too long to find the vibrator's off switch, and Gavin barely managed to snatch his charger and sputter a goodbye before he fled. He hadn't mentioned the incident since then, and even though he had a lock on his bedroom door, Ryan was too afraid of a repeat performance to try again. He couldn't even play by himself anymore.

Until Gavin gave him the go ahead for them to try something new, he was stuck, browsing adult websites for dildos and gags and sighing wistfully before shutting his laptop off. Gavin wouldn't shop with Ryan for things of that nature, and he didn't want to buy something unless he could try it with Gavin. Even without the walk-in incident, the truth was that he didn't like masturbating as much as he liked pleasuring himself and Gavin at the same time.

Ryan scooted his chair back and stood, pacing around his living room. He loved Gavin. That much became true far sooner than he wanted, and it took him guts to admit it. Gavin had stuttered in the middle of the restaurant, ducking his head and fidgeting before he gave a slight nod, and mumbled that he loved Ryan, too. It wasn't the first time Ryan heard that, but it was the first time he heard it in reply to his own feelings, and it made warmth burst through his chest to know they were both in this for the foreseeable future. Ryan's first serious relationship was going amazingly.

Except, of course, for the sex. Ryan groaned and sat in his armchair, resting his forehead in the palm of his hand. Sex with Gavin was good, great even. But it lacked the flavor Ryan was used to, and no matter how many times he tried to bring it up, Gavin turned shy and passive, telling Ryan he wasn't sure or that they could try something but he wasn't up for making decisions. Ryan wanted to do this _with_ Gavin, not _to_ him. For it to work, they both needed to be on board.

He picked up his laptop again, futilely opening the browser and selecting the last website in his history. On the website's background, it had red and white banners for different products, labeled according to gender or kink. In the center was the last product Ryan had looked at, unassuming in its pale blue color and shiny silver buckle.

It was the page for a collar.

The night Ryan explained his sexual preferences, Gavin had jokingly asked if Ryan was into whips and chains, probably picturing the latest movie he saw with an extreme sex scene. And Ryan confirmed that no, he wasn't. BDSM, one of the more intense genres of kink, wasn't his scene. Ryan could never get himself into dressing in black and forcing someone to call him 'master,' or calling his partner a slave.

But that didn't mean he didn't play with _aspects_ of it. Collars being one of them.

Ryan couldn't count how many times he'd pictured Gavin on his knees in front of him, swallowing nervously as a decorative collar rested at the base of his neck. The collar changed every time he imagined it, sometimes a thick piece of hand-crafted leather with designs carved into it, sometimes just a chain with a lock holding both ends, and sometimes a delicate, lacy article that would add enough femininity for Gavin to be embarrassed wearing it.

The collar he was currently looking at had erased all those fantasies. It was suede, a type of treated leather, and it was soft to the touch. The item in the online store had multiple color options, but Ryan liked light blue the best. It would compliment Gavin's eyes. It had metal decorations, silver buttons that made swirled patterns across the top and bottom edges, and a metal buckle that could be clasped in varying degrees of tightness. It was an inch and a half wide, enough that Gavin wouldn't be able to forget it was there.

He groaned again, and shoved the laptop across his desk. No way Gavin would agree to it. He'd feel constricted or shamed, or something, because Ryan was too damn lucky to have him and it wouldn't be fair for Gavin to like his kinks, too. He _said_ he was willing to explore with him, but the longer they went having regular sex, the more Ryan thought he'd only said that to make him feel better.

Part of him felt childish, complaining about this when Gavin gave him so much happiness. Maybe Ryan could live without adventurous sex. It wasn't fair not to try, though.

He sat up, and pulled his computer close again. The collar looked like a piece of art, something a person would hang on a wall rather than someone's neck. Ryan couldn't think of a better place to put it, though. He blew out a long breath through his nose, hovering his mouse over the button to add the collar to his cart.

There were other good things on the website. He could always use more lube; heavens knew Gavin never remembered to get any. There were massage oils, too, and chocolate treats in the shapes of dicks that Gavin would laugh at. Ryan clicked through and added a few things, smiling at the thought of surprising Gavin with them soon.

If the collar happened to find its way into his shopping cart as well, he wasn't going to bring any attention to it.

 

* * *

 

Because they often spent nights together, it didn't go amiss to Gavin when Ryan got his package in the mail. He tucked it under his arm, hiding it as he pulled his keys out and unlocked his front door. Behind him, Gavin tilted his head and reached out to finger the edges of the box. “What's in it?” he asked, as they walked inside and Ryan tossed the mail on the kitchen counter. He bent down, pots and pans banging against each other when he took out what he needed to make dinner. Tonight was spaghetti, something simple that Ryan liked to make when he was tired. He took meat from the freezer and tossed it in the frying pan, letting it defrost while he filled a giant pot with water from the sink.

To answer Gavin, he said, “Nothing much. Some stuff for us to have fun with.”

With a raised brow, Gavin snatched at the package. Ryan set the pot on the stove and turned it on to boil, snatching the package before Gavin could crack it open. “Hey!” Gavin whined, leaning over the kitchen island to try and get it back.

“It's a surprise,” Ryan said, thinking of the pretty blue collar and how Gavin might react if he saw it without any warning. After the vibrator situation, he wouldn't let Gavin stumble across his sex paraphernalia again. “I'll show some of it to you later, okay? Why don't you wind down in front of the TV while I cook?”

Gavin pouted, bottom lip sticking out in a way that made Ryan want to bite it, but he listened and slid off the stool. Ryan sighed and set the package back down, the plastic shipping sleeve around the box crinkling loudly. He ran a hand over it, wondering what the collar would look like in person.

He'd used collars before, on himself and on others, but he’d never bought one. They were usually cheap ones for one-off sessions, never something to make a successive game from. This one cost more than it looked like it should, but it was supposedly well-made and guaranteed to last. Ryan's eyes flicked to the package while he dumped pasta in the pot and poured some water in the frying pan, heating the stove underneath it to defrost the meat faster.

Checking around the edge of the far doorway to make sure Gavin was still in the living room, and finding him on the couch with some mindless show on the television, Ryan picked up the package and grabbed a knife. Carefully, he pressed it into the plastic, cutting it open swiftly and pulling out the box inside. He repeated the action on the tape holding the box together, slowing himself to keep the actions quiet. If Gavin heard him, he'd nose his way back in and the surprise would be ruined.

Underneath the thin layer of bubble wrap, on the top of the oils, was the bag of chocolate. Ryan giggled to himself as he put it on the counter. Immature as it might be, Gavin liked chocolate and would no doubt coo pleasantly when he saw the bag, and then proceed to make too many blow job jokes as he ate them. One thing could be said for Gavin; after he learned better how not to choke himself, he was eager about pleasing Ryan and asked if he could suck his dick often. No matter how much Ryan prodded, Gavin wouldn't say what he liked so much about it, because despite his best efforts he _did_ end up in coughing fits almost every time. Ryan chalked it up to enjoying pleasuring him.

With the chocolates put aside, Ryan could see the lube and massage oil, both in small boxes. When he opened those, he found the oils in attractively decorated glass bottles, and the lube in a standard tube. It was citrus flavored, something he thought Gavin might enjoy.

At the bottom of the box was another layer of bubble wrap, in a vaguely cylindrical shape. Ryan took a deep breath, picking it up gently. He put one finger on the tape holding the bubblewrap against itself, ready to tear it off.

“I can hear you!”

The sudden shout made Ryan jolt, banging his knee into the cupboards beneath the counter. He swore under his breath, and rubbed his knee, trying to soothe the flare of discomfort. “What?” he called back, tucking the collar close to his thigh in case Gavin came in.

“I hear you unwrapping things!” Gavin called back, apparently not moving from where he'd planted himself on the couch. “I better get to see what you bought, if it's worth hiding this long.” Despite his words, though, Gavin didn't come in and try to see. He was being patient, for once, and Ryan thanked whatever force decided to let Gavin be reasonable, rather than his usual inquisitive self.

“You'll see it after dinner!” Ryan promised, collecting the majority of his purchases in the package and shoving the box to the wall, behind his blender.

The collar, however, he carefully unwrapped, throwing the bubble wrap in the trash and holding the delicate material in his hands. The blue didn't look as bright as it did in the picture, but otherwise it was exactly as advertised. Flat metal studs filled the top and bottom edges, flowing into a casual design of curves and angles reminiscent of waves. The buckle was thick, maybe half the width of Ryan's index finger, with four different holes puncturing the blue suede for sizing.

It was delicate, but strong, and perfect for the vision Ryan had. If Gavin would let him use it, that was.

Ryan folded the collar and tucked it into his pocket, reluctant to keep it in the box lest Gavin change his mind and come wandering in. By now the water had almost boiled over, and he hurried to dunk the pasta in. With a spatula Ryan prodded the meat until it separated into chunks, turning it over in the pan to cook more evenly.

In his back pocket, the collar was a heavy weight that kept his mind distracted as he made dinner for the two of them.

Garlic bread, toasted in the oven, complimented their spaghetti, along with drinks. They sat at the dining table rather than the couch, something they did every once in a while so they could talk to each other without the distraction of the television. It felt more like an official date, and broke the casual monotony that had settled around them.

Gavin dug into his meal immediately, praising the dish through a mouth full of noodles. Ryan rolled his eyes and swiped his bread through the sauce. Conversation flowed easily, with chatter about work and games, and possibilities for upcoming dates.

“I wanted to see that new movie,” Gavin said, wiping red stains from around his lips. “It got good reviews, I think.”

“Sounds fine. We could do it this weekend.” Ryan reached out and swiped some of the tomato sauce Gavin missed, licking it from his finger. Gavin's eyes traced his movements, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Ryan smirked, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Gavin flushed red, as he did whenever Ryan caught him off guard with affection. Even after their few months together, Gavin acted like a kid in middle school, and it made Ryan grin.

“So.” Ryan went back to his food, scraping his fork around and twisting his noodles aimlessly. “The package I got.”

“Hm? Oh!” Gavin sat up straighter, practically bouncing in his chair. “Are you going to show me what's in it?”

“I think you've waited long enough.” Heart pounding rapidly in his chest, Ryan stood, and dipped down to press another kiss to Gavin's cheek. He left the dining room and snatched the box from the kitchen counter, walking back in the find Gavin peering around the doorway. He set the package in front of him, sitting in his chair with a satisfied smug. “Go ahead,” he said, with a gesture, when Gavin hesitated.

Given permission, Gavin didn't wait to fling the bubblewrap out of the way, letting it float gently to the floor, and dig into the spoils inside. “Lube?” He grabbed that first, inspecting the label with narrow eyes. “Citrus?” His voice pitched higher in disbelief.

“I _like_ flavored lube,” Ryan said, with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

The implications of what he said sunk in quickly, and Gavin hurried to put the lube back and pull out the next item. “Oh, massage oil.” He turned the container over in his hands gleefully, tracing his fingers over the label before pulling the bottle out from its box, and giggling at the decorative appearance. “Can I make you give me a shoulder massage after a Slow Mo Guys shoot? Those always leave me sore.”

“Sure. And I can make you rub down my back after I spend an hour bent under a desk, fixing whatever tech you lads broke.”

Gavin snorted, and his mouth twisted in a grin that spoke of _ideas_ for the future. “That's not our fault,” he said, slipping the oil back in its box and into the package. “Your sucky PCs are always breaking down.”

“Mm. Look at the next one.” Ryan pointed to the bag of chocolate, worn too thin by the weight in his pocket to start an argument with Gavin that he wouldn't win.

Pulling it out, Gavin barked out a laugh, and tore at the tie holding the top of the bag together. It snapped off, and Gavin spit it from his teeth, reaching in to grab a chocolate. “You bought bloody chocolate cocks? What the hell, Rye!” He was laughing as he said it, and tossed the chocolate into his mouth. “They're good!” Gavin took another, humming appreciatively.

“I'm glad you like them.” Ryan snatched a chocolate for himself. They were milk chocolate, not his favorite, but Gavin was right. They were better than Hershey's, at least, and Ryan took another because he knew Gavin would down the bag over the next couple days.

“So.” Gavin swallowed another chocolate, and pushed the bag aside, with the other goodies. He turned to look at Ryan, brow raised and eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What's the occasion? Was there some birthday or anniversary I missed?” His expression flickered, guilt passing over him briefly before he shrugged it off. “I'm shite with dates, you know that.”

“No, no,” Ryan assured him, shifting his chair to sit closer to Gavin's and take his hand. “I bought them for fun, because I felt like it. And, well.” He stopped, the slight bump of the collar in his pocket suddenly twenty times heavier.

They'd never really discussed collaring before, except for a joke, and now, with Gavin looking at him so innocently, fear crept into Ryan's throat. He had no idea how Gavin might react, if he might even leave their date early, especially after the first time Ryan caught him off guard. Suggesting that Gavin put on a collar and make Ryan into some kind of owner could be the worst possible thing Ryan ever did to him, and he went and bought the damn collar anyway.

On the other hand, it might be his worries getting the better of him. Ryan blinked, and let out a long breath. Gavin tilted his head, the hand in Ryan's squeezing once, urging him to keep talking. Ryan reached into his pocket with his other hand, fingering the smooth suede. “I bought something else,” he said, his voice low and hesitant. “I thought you might like it, but if not, we can just throw it out and never talk about it again. Okay?”

Gavin stiffened. He knew that tone, and Ryan chided himself. It was the tone he used whenever he talked to Gavin about sexual topics he had no experience in, calm and low to explain it without frightening him. He'd used it again without thinking. Gavin eyed Ryan's other hand suspiciously.

Ryan pulled the collar out, quickly, before he could change his mind. Still holding Gavin's hand in his right, he held the collar in his left palm, keeping his hand facing up so the collar sat in the center, curled into itself. Gavin blinked, and Ryan could see he had no idea what it was at first.

“A collar,” Ryan supplied, to save him the trouble. “It was kind of an impulse buy, I . . . I thought we could try something new together.”

“Ryan.” Gavin spoke slowly, drawing his hand away to put them both in his lap and fidget. His cheeks had colored attractively at the sight of the collar, burning down his face and neck. Ryan wanted to lean in and kiss him, make that flush burn brighter, but now wasn't the time. Gavin continued, “I'm not sure I'm ready for anything like this.”

“I know, but.” Ryan stopped and blew a breath out through his nose, brow furrowed hard enough that Gavin leaned back an inch when he saw his face. Ryan inhaled, and smoothed out his expression. “It's been a couple months,” he said gently, pulling his hand back to hide the collar under the table. “And you keep saying that, that you're not ready. I respect that!” he added, glancing at Gavin, whose face only showed surprise and a bit of concern. “But . . .” Ryan bit his lip. “Gavin, I'm used to different things. Our sex is great, don't get me wrong, I love it. I love _you_.” He forced a smile, and Gavin returned it, making his lips turn up more naturally.

“I love you too, but I don't see what a bloody kink accessory has to do with that.”

He might as well get to the point. Ryan shook his head, flipping some of the hair away from his eyes. Which was pointless, because he could barely keep a steady gaze on Gavin. “I've spent a long time having sex with people who like to explore. Regular stuff is great, but it's kind of like eating the same meal all the time. Eventually you get tired of it.”

Gavin jolted in his seat, leaning away. “I'm boring?”

“No! Damn it,” Ryan hissed, and stood, pacing a little to work off the energy. When he was satisfied, he stopped, and looked down at Gavin. “You're amazing. And every day I wonder what I did to deserve you, really. I have stuff I like to do in bed, though. I've asked a bunch of times and you keep saying no, and it's . . . frustrating,” he settled on, even though the word wasn't quite what he wanted. He would never be mad at Gavin, he was terrible at holding anything against people he cared about.

He was a little bored of the sex, though. It would hurt Gavin to hear it phrased like that, and he struggled to find a way to put it more delicately. “You don't seem horrified by it,” he said, tightening his hand around the collar he still held. “If you were, I wouldn't push anything. There are some really fun things I've done in the past, stuff I think you would like, and you don't even want to talk about it. It makes me feel like my preferences don't matter, Gavin.”

The way Gavin's face scrunched together, hurt and guilt mixing terribly, made Ryan want to take back everything he said and cuddle Gavin until the worry lines in his skin smoothed out. But then they'd be back at square one, and Ryan wanted to move past that.

“I didn't—” Gavin stopped, licking his lips. “What you like matters, Rye, I just-- I'm not used to any of this!” he cried, looking up to meet Ryan's eyes, his own wide and desperate. “You bought me a bloody collar for fuck's sake!”

“That was a bad move,” Ryan admitted, tucking the collar against his thigh and bringing his other hand up defensively. “Like I said, impulse decision, but . . . Gavin, can we _try_? It's not intense, I promise, it's . . . I wanna try some of the things I like.” He let his hand fall, and took a deep breath. The atmosphere practically rang with tension, as they stared at one another. Ryan ran a thumb absently over the collar, feeling the soft texture and cold metal. Maybe if he offered to be the one to wear it, Gavin would be more willing, if Ryan was the one who gave up some measure of control, so they could explore things without making him uncomfortable--

“Okay.”

Ryan's thoughts stopped in their tracks, and he blinked, not sure he'd heard quite right. “I'm sorry?”

“Okay,” Gavin repeated, and stood. He placed both hands on Ryan's chest, rubbing them lightly in a comforting gesture. Pressing a kiss to Ryan's cheek, Gavin said, “I'll try it. If you promise to keep going slow like we have, and it's not anything that, like, hurts me or whatever, then we can try.”

“I-- we can?” Ryan shook his head a little, and his left hand tightened around the collar.

Gavin nodded. “You're right, I've been avoiding this. I _am_ curious, but . . . I was scared of what we might do. You've never seemed like you were into anything weird. I was just being a pleb, I guess. Sorry about that.” Offering him a sheepish smile, Gavin tilted his head up to kiss Ryan on the lips, lingering there for a moment before he pulled back, and glanced at Ryan's hand. “We can, um, try the collar, if that's what you want.”

There was a moment where Ryan had to collect himself, staring at Gavin as he fidgeted and fussed with Ryan's shirt. When Gavin didn't take anything back or suddenly claim he was joking, Ryan lifted his hand and unfolded it, showing the now slightly bent suede collar. “Now?” Ryan asked, words a little breathy as he struggled with the fact that Gavin had just tentatively accepted his request.

A fierce blush lit up his face. “W-Well I thought after, after dinner, but, uh, now works too.”

Ryan hurried to backtrack, one hand flying to hold Gavin's shoulder. “Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. We're not jumping into anything, I just thought we could see how it looked.”

“Oh.” Gavin blinked, but his blush only got darker. “Okay, yeah. Sure.”

He was _still_ agreeing, red faced as he was, and Ryan let out a small gasp. If he could have gotten what he wanted just by asking, he would have done it weeks ago, but he didn't want to pressure Gavin after the entire fiasco they had when they started dating, dealing with his fear of dating men and being stereotyped as gay, and left the issues of Ryan's bedroom desires to be dealt with later. Now, he was agreeing, and so embarrassed about it that he ducked his face into Ryan's shirt and clung to the hem with tight fingers.

“We'll just test the fit,” he promised, wary of moving too fast and scaring Gavin off. “Nothing big or even remotely sexual.”

“Ha.” Gavin peeked out from his shirt to laugh. “You're putting a collar on me, and it's not sexual.”

“It doesn't have to be,” Ryan said, standing back and holding the collar up. “Some of this stuff isn't related to sex unless you _want_ it to be, Gav. Collars are about trust and dependency. Orgasms don't have to be involved for that.”

Gavin's eyes flicked between the collar and Ryan's face, and he swallowed. “Will you put the bloody thing on, already?” He bounced a little on his toes, fingers trailing up to feel his own neck.

Ryan couldn't help a small laugh, and closed the space between them. “Hold still,” he whispered, reaching up to pull Gavin's shirt collar down. “I'll leave it on for two seconds to make sure it's not too tight, and then I'll take it off, and we can finish dinner and cuddle, if you want. Slow, like I said.”

Gavin nodded numbly, shoulders stiff as Ryan tugged his shirt again, and lifted the collar in his hands. He estimated the size based on his memory of Gavin, and as he unfolded it and straightened the leather out, it looked like he'd been right. He took one end and slipped it around Gavin's neck, taking it with his other hand so each of his fingers held one side in place. Carefully, humming quietly to Gavin as reassurance while he did it, Ryan brought the ends together and slipped the collar through its buckle, clasping it through the second hole and letting it rest, hands hovering inches away. It sat loosely on his neck, and Ryan made a displeased noise. He tightened it one more notch, and then slipped his fingers underneath the surface. His index and middle fingers fit comfortably between the collar and Gavin's neck, but not so tight that it hung away from his skin.

“How's that?” Ryan asked, tugging the collar gently with his fingers to test the hold.

“G-Good.” Gavin looked at the floor, hands coming up around Ryan's to feel the collar around his neck. He tested the hold, running the pads of his fingers around the inside. “Bloody leather collar,” he whispered, chuckling. “I can't believe you got me into this.”

“Technically,” Ryan said, pulling one end from the buckle, “it's suede. Not the same material.” He slipped the collar off and took a step back, giving Gavin the space he clearly needed. “It fits,” he said, flicking his eyes to the collar and back to Gavin. “I'm glad.”

“Yeah.” Gavin's hands stayed around his neck, rubbing back and forth. “So, uh. When did you want to . . .?”

“Later.” Ryan tucked the collar in his pocket and pointedly sat back down, dragging his plate close. “Not tonight, anyway. It's a lot to take in, I understand that.” His lips quirked up. “I remember the first time I put one on.”

Gavin had followed Ryan and sat back down, but his spine went ramrod straight when he heard that. “You've worn them?” he asked, eyes wide.

Ryan shrugged. “Yeah, sure. It's not my favorite thing, but it can be fun. I told you, there's a lot of things I've done.” Reaching across the table, Ryan picked up Gavin's hand and ran his fingers over the back. He smiled, and pulled Gavin's hand up to press a soft kiss to the back of it. “I really want a chance to explore some of it with you. Thank you for being open about it.”

Gavin blushed, and scooted his chair forward enough to grab Ryan's face and kiss him. The awkward angle took any force from it, and he leaned back quickly, picking up his fork to fiddle with the remains of his dinner. “No problem. It's weird, but. You're right, I've been putting it off. A few new things won't hurt me.”

There was a pause, and Ryan assumed he was done speaking. He had another bite of spaghetti halfway to his lips when Gavin spoke up again. “We won't tell anyone at work, right?”

He froze, and set his fork down, the silverware clinking loudly on his plate. Ryan turned to look Gavin in the eyes, raising one eyebrow in challenge. “About our sex life? No, I don't think so.”

Gavin blushed again, but seemed satisfied by the answer. He poked at his spaghetti, took a few bites, and pushed his plate away. Ryan kept eating until Gavin cleared his throat, and stopped to meet his gaze.

“Can I see it again?” he asked, quiet. “The collar?”

Ryan flushed this time, heat creeping into his cheeks, and he nodded, taking the accessory from his pants pocket and handing it over. Gavin took it gingerly, like it might bite him, and turned it over in his hands. Ryan half expected him to put it on again, but after he'd touched the metal decorations and played with the buckle, Gavin set it on the table, between their plates and in plain view. Ryan almost took it back, to put it away and then squirrel it into his storage in the bedroom closet, but the way Gavin kept glancing at it stopped him.

That was certainly unexpected. Ryan didn't expect Gavin to agree right away, regardless of how shy he was about it, and now he was staring at the little blue collar. Ryan couldn't read his mind-- it would have saved them numerous pointless arguments if he could-- but he thought by the way Gavin squirmed and couldn't take his eyes off the new toy, that his thoughts on it weren't completely negative.

When they started dating, Ryan spent a long time telling Gavin that being sexually experienced wasn't bad, and trying new things would either end in a fun night or knowledge about what they didn't like. He put his toys away to make Gavin feel more comfortable, and dealt with Gavin avoiding discussions on the topic. He hadn't lied about their sex life; it was fantastic, and Ryan woke up almost every morning with Gavin at his side, glad to have him and be able to make him happy. But the idea that Gavin was willing to explore, and curious about it, sent a shot of heat to his groin. He could already picture him begging in bed with that pretty collar on his neck.

Baby steps. Ryan buried himself in his pasta to avoid staring at Gavin staring at the collar. They had all the time in the world to ease into Ryan's kinks, and if the past couple months told him anything, rushing Gavin into new territory would only spook him.

Still. He peeked up from his dish, catching the way Gavin bit his lip and put one hand out to touch the collar again. His finger traced the edge, thumbing the smooth material and digging a short nail into the space where one of the flat metal studs punctured the suede. Ryan smiled. If nothing else, Gavin's natural curiosity gave him an advantage in this area.

A second later, Gavin glanced over and caught Ryan looking at him. He promptly drew his hand back with a small yelp, and followed it with, “What are you staring at?!”

Ryan smirked, and brushed a hand through Gavin's hair. “Nothing. You're cute.”

Gavin's indignant huff startled a laugh out of him, and Ryan knew he couldn't eat anymore while he thought about how adorable Gavin looked playing with his new collar. He picked up his plate and went to the kitchen, warmth in his chest and, not surprisingly, coiling low in his stomach. They could play soon enough, if he was patient. By the looks of it, it would only be a matter of time before Gavin asked to use the collar, and the fun could begin. 

 

* * *

 

The safeword discussion proved worse than Ryan could have anticipated.

To get Gavin used to the idea of the collar, he left it sitting out. On his bedside table most of the time, but also on the coffee table in the living room and sometimes the kitchen counter, if Ryan weren't cooking anything he thought might splatter. He didn't dare bring it to work, so the nights they spent at Gavin's loft or apart from each other, neither of them thought about Ryan's request.

That was, until a very important matter, that had somehow slipped his notice, came to Ryan's attention.

They'd been at Gavin's loft, falling into his couch together after a long day of constant recording, Gavin lying on Ryan's stomach and tracing little patterns into his hip. Ryan jumped when he hit a sensitive spot, a small chuckle slipping out. His eyes didn't move from the television, but Gavin noticed the reaction, rubbing his fingers over the spot again. Ryan laughed, shifting under his touch.

Gavin had never been one to pass up an opportunity like _that_ , and immediately sat up, tracing his hands across the apparent ticklish spot. Ryan barked a laugh, and stifled it by biting his lip. He swatted at Gavin's hands, attention on the TV lost, and bucked his hips to nudge his boyfriend off. Gavin took no mercy, tickling as much as he could while Ryan struggled, shrieking each time Ryan tried to toss him.

“Stop,” Ryan begged, squirming when Gavin's hands dug under his shirt. “Gavin, _please_.”

“No can do, Rye.” Gavin grinned, pushing in harder with his fingers.

“Gavin!” Ryan tried again, a trickle of seriousness leaking into his words. Gavin ignored him, still tickling, and throwing his weight more solidly across Ryan's torso when he was once again jostled by Ryan's constantly moving hips. Ryan trapped Gavin’s legs under his own, limiting his movement, but it also kept Gavin from falling, and the onslaught continued.

“Beg me for mercy!” Gavin's hands moved under his shirt, from his hips to his armpits, and that made it so much worse.

Ryan gasped for air, head thrown back against the pillows. “Gavin, stop!”

“I dunno, you look like you're enjoying it!”

“ _Gavin!_ ” Ryan wormed his hands out from where they'd been trapped under Gavin's chest. He snatched his arms and ripped Gavin's hands from under his shirt, breathing hard now that he wasn't forced to laugh and wriggle. “I meant it,” Ryan said, inhaling deeply. “I couldn't breathe.”

Gavin lost his grin, shrinking slightly. “Oh, fuck, Rye, I'm sorry. I thought you were messing about with me.”

“At first, yeah.” Ryan smiled to dispel any lingering hard feelings, and sat them both up. Nudging Gavin into his lap, he brought one hand up to card through his hair. “It's hard to tell when people are serious when they're laughing.”

“Mm.” Gavin leaned into the touch, nuzzling Ryan's collar. “Should have a way of telling when someone really means stop,” he muttered, hands running soothingly over Ryan's back as an apology.

Ryan's reaction was automatic, conditioned from years of having the same conversation with multiple partners. He didn't think before opening his mouth, hand tightening in Gavin's hair to pull him away and look him in the eye. “We need a safeword.”

Gavin colored brightly, the red in his skin from their roughhousing growing darker. “S-Safeword? Rye, it's just tickling.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Not for this, you're right, but I meant for sex. If we're serious about trying new things, we need a surefire way of halting things when they get overwhelming.”

Gavin sat back, legs curling against his chest as he leaned on one arm of the couch. His hands stayed on Ryan, sliding from his back to his thighs to rub them through the jeans. “Just saying no might not work, huh?”

“Not if we're in the moment. Stop doesn't necessarily mean stop when it comes to these things.” Ryan leaned over him, kissing the top of his head. “People get into things, say stuff they might not usually say. We should pick something assuredly not sexy, to let the other know something is wrong.”

For a moment, Gavin said nothing. He leaned into Ryan's little touches, as Ryan traced his hands over Gavin's body to comfort and reassure him, but his eyes were staring into space.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Ryan asked, unable to stop a small smile from curling up. Gavin looked like he was trying to figure out a technical problem, something he was never very good at, and when Ryan asked, his eyes snapped up and narrowed.

“I'm trying to think of a safeword so we can do your sex thing.” He shifted to sit more fully in Ryan's lap, knocking their foreheads together. “Everything I think of sounds silly.”

“Well.” Ryan put both hands firm on Gavin's back and rubbed, working the tight muscles in an impromptu massage. “There's a simple method that most people like to use, with stoplights. It's good for beginners. Basically, green means good to go, yellow means slow it down or take a break, and red means full out stop because there's something wrong.” He paused, pecking Gavin on the nose and chuckling at the way he flinched. “Does that sound good?”

Gavin briefly rubbed the spot on his nose and retaliated by leaning up to kiss Ryan's forehead. “Green, go, yellow, slow, and red, stop. I think I can remember that.” Gavin bit his lip, and blew out a long breath. “You're serious about all this? Trying new sex stuff?”

Ryan swallowed, but he knew this moment was coming. Gavin had been skittish from day one, unused to what Ryan wanted to ask of him, and Ryan gave him the space he needed for as long as he could stand. Relationships were a two-way street, though, and he couldn't settle for not at least trying some of what he liked. If they tried and it all bombed out, Ryan could live with it, could live with exploring his kinks on his own and keeping things vanilla between himself and Gavin. Not trying at all felt too much like giving up, for his comfort.

“Yeah,” he said, and nodded. “I'm serious. Only so long as you're comfortable. That's why we have the safeword. Any time we go into something and you're scared or upset or hurt, we can stop it all and just cuddle, or I can leave you alone after I make sure you're okay. Your safety is important in this.”

Gavin hummed, lacing his fingers in Ryan's t-shirt and pulling lightly. The brief choke of fabric felt nice, and it made Ryan think of the collar sitting idly on his bedside table. He hadn't seen Gavin wear it since that first night, and the thought of him ready and willing to listen with that pretty collar around his neck sent his mind spinning, blood pounding lightly with the beginnings of arousal. Even without the kink ideas in mind, it had been a while since he and Gavin fooled around.

“So,” Gavin said, drawing Ryan from his thoughts. He'd shifted, on his knees now, and pushed against Ryan's chest lightly. “If I said red right now, you'd stop cuddling me? Or if I said green, you'd shove me down and make me come?”

“It doesn't _work_ like that--” Ryan tried to say, but his mouth was swallowed by two eager lips, and Gavin was pressing him back into the couch, this time to run his hands down Ryan's sides in a much more pleasing manner. Fingers pushed lightly until they had a grip on his shirt, and tugged it upward, curling over his stomach. Gavin parted his lips and ran a tongue over Ryan's, teeth biting down experimentally.

Ryan growled, bringing both arms around Gavin's torso. Ignoring the distinct yelp, he rolled them over until they were on their sides, and quickly maneuvered his boyfriend until Gavin was underneath him, hair mussed and panting wildly. He started to lean down, to catch Gavin's lips again while his hips moved to grind on his crotch, when he heard a word whispered so quiet he almost didn't catch it.

“Red.”

It took a moment to register the word and bring himself to a halt, hovering inches above Gavin's face. His hands were braced on the couch cushions, holding up his torso, and Ryan scrabbled for enough purchase to sit himself up and draw away from Gavin completely. “What'd I do?” he asked, finding it hard to believe he'd messed up so early and so soon after he taught Gavin what the safewords meant.

“Nothing.” Gavin sat up easily, a grin splitting his face. “I just wanted to test that you'd listen. Good job, A plus, would 'safeword' again.”

Ryan's jaw dropped, and clicked when he shut his mouth, lips pulling back to bare teeth. “Gavin, you can't just use it whenever you feel like! It's for me as well as you!”

That made Gavin pause, tilting his head. “I thought it meant you'd stop being sexy.”

“Gav,” Ryan said, drawing it out into a groan. “The safeword means you want to stop, but it also means there's a _reason_ you wanted to stop. Because you're hurt, overwhelmed, panicking, anything along those lines. If I hear 'red,' it means I messed up somewhere along the way and I have to comfort you and make sure you're all right.”

“O-oh.” Gavin blushed, lowering his head. “I didn't-- I figured you wouldn't care.”

The kicked puppy look always did Ryan in. He sighed and knelt closer, taking Gavin's face in his hands. “I don't mean to say you can't use it,” he said, placing a light kiss to his lips. “Use it whenever you want. But, for the sake of my mental health, can you please limit 'whenever you want' to the times you actually feel you need it? I don't want to constantly worry about whether you feel okay when there's actually nothing wrong.”

Gavin leaned in when Ryan kissed him again, hands coming up to rest on Ryan's shoulders. “Sorry,” he muttered against his lips. “I won't be a git about it.”

“Thank you,” Ryan said, and kissed his cheek. “I'll listen, Gavin, always. I'll stop even if you're kidding. But I don't want undue stress on either of us.”

“Okay, okay!” Gavin cracked a tiny smile and tugged Ryan closer, pushing their lips together harshly. “Let's get on with what we were doing. I wanna get back to the fun part.”

Ryan let out a chuckle, and lowered his face to Gavin's neck, kissing gently. As it usually did, the attention had Gavin melting in seconds, and it was simple for Ryan to lower him back to the couch, hands wandering lower as he sucked and nipped at the skin. The hickies that showed up later would earn him a scolding, but Ryan wasn't in a forgiving mood after Gavin joked about their safeword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sequel to "I'll trade vision for voice." Thank you kindly to AidenFlame for suggesting a sequel wherein Ryan's kinks are the focus of the story. I had a hell of a lot of fun writing this! The story is written out completely, and chapters will update on a weekly schedule.


	2. waiting on a silver platter

The next time the collar came up, it was while Ryan tried to decide what their first task in exploring kink would be.

It seemed obvious, in hindsight. Ryan spent an hour cleaning his kitchen from last night's dinner and that morning's breakfast, during both of which Gavin had spilled vinegar and eggs, respectively. Gavin was sleeping away the beers from the night before, having crashed back into the bed as soon as he finished his food. Ryan wouldn't begrudge him that; he was the one who insisted on coming to his house for the weekend.

As he scrubbed the remnants of their meals away with a sponge, Ryan considered what Gavin would be most open to, what he'd be bothered by, and how he could introduce topics gently. When it came to him, Ryan rolled his eyes at himself.

The first exposure Gavin had to Ryan's more daring sexual side was their first dinner together, when Ryan had been trying to patch up their misunderstandings. They went on a few dates and slept together, and Gavin panicked about being gay and the stereotypes he would endure, how the public would see him after knowing him as straight. They fought more than once, and it took extreme patience and hard work on Ryan's end to get Gavin to talk about it.

The night they were supposed to be repairing their relationship, Gavin had gone into Ryan's bathroom and stumbled on his supply of vibrators. There were only a few, but Ryan kept them there from past experience with partners who preferred to fuck anywhere _but_ the bedroom, and having toys nearby kept the rhythm of such encounters going smoother. He would have hidden them if he remembered to do so, and it lead to a discussion with Gavin about his own past and what they might expect from dating.

It took even _more_ patience to agree not to play with Gavin, to keep things moving slowly and ignore his desires to take their sex life to another level. Now that Ryan had his chance, it seemed obvious that they start with something gentle, the first thing Gavin ended up exposed to.

Vibrators were tricky, though. For one thing, Gavin didn't think cisgender men were capable of experiencing much pleasure with them, focused too much on conventional ideas about sex. If Ryan were going to start their kink play with toys, he'd need to choose carefully. Something small, most likely, and not too intense. He'd had partners who liked strong toys. Gavin could be easily overwhelmed by them.

Ryan bit his lip as he dumped the sponge in the sink and rinsed it off. There wasn't a shortage of vibrators to try. He had at least six or seven, on his last count. It might do him good to go through his selection and pick out a couple, and let Gavin help him choose. This was about the both of them, and it might make him more comfortable to help decide.

There was no sense in wasting time. Ryan left the kitchen and crossed the hall to the bedroom, peeking in before stepping inside. Gavin was awake, lying on his side and seemingly staring out the window. When he went around the other side of the bed, however, Ryan caught his line of sight and followed it to the bedside table. Where the collar was resting, innocent and pale in the late morning light.

“You can try it again, if you want.”

Gavin turned when Ryan spoke, lips coming up in a tiny smile as Ryan leaned down and kissed his forehead. “It won't bite,” Ryan reminded him, and picked up the collar. He turned it over in his hands, glad once again that he chose something simple but sturdy.

“I know,” Gavin said, sitting up and watching Ryan play with the collar. “I just . . . I'm not sure how I feel, having that on me. It's weird.”

“Well, you don't have to right now.” Ryan swallowed and set the collar back down. “I'd like it a lot, but it takes getting used to.”

“Mm.” Gavin brought his knees up and hugged them, resting his chin on the top. “What are you up to this morning, my lovely little Rye bread?”

Ryan smiled and ruffled his hair. “Cleaning up the mess _you_ made,” he said, and Gavin made a protesting noise. “And,” Ryan continued, eyes flicking to the other side of the room. “Planning our next adventure.”

“Oh?” Gavin followed his gaze, and snorted. “The magic closet. Right.”

“It's not magic,” Ryan said, though his lips tipped up at the corners hearing that description. Gavin assumed his myriad of sex toys went on forever and that Ryan could draw out whatever he wanted at the snap of a finger. He had a lot of experience, and a lot of toys to show for it, but it didn't quite go that far.

“Either way, my mouth tastes awful, and I'm going to go brush my teeth.” He stood and leaned up to peck Ryan's lips, lingering a moment before he pulled back and gave Ryan a little salute. Ryan watched him go with eager eyes, and waited until the door closed before he crossed the room.

Kneeling on the floor, Ryan opened the closet, pushing shoes and sweaters out of the way, until he could get to the plastic storage shelf at the back. The topmost drawer had his fancier shirts, the things he didn't wear unless the occasion called for it. The other three drawers below it, however, held almost everything Ryan had bought, for himself or for partners, to play with.

The bottom most drawer was like the top, it held clothes, but of a different nature. He'd done some roleplay in his time and picked up a few items. Above that was various lubes and condoms, along with other miscellaneous supplies, like blindfolds and a couple gags. He didn't dip too far into BDSM, but the milder things were fun if done correctly. Ryan kept that drawer mostly empty in case he needed a place to put new things.

The last drawer, below the top one, had his vibrators and dildos, along with an extra bottle of lube. Ryan sat up on his knees to reach it, pulling it back carefully. Plastic partitions separated the various types of toys, and they were placed in alternating patterns of materials, mostly plastic and silicone, but also glass, so that nothing made of silicone touched another silicone toy and melted against itself. Ryan reached in and took a few of the vibrators out, scooting back on his carpet to lay them out on the floor and inspect them in the light.

Just then, the door clicked open, and Gavin walked in.

He stopped, eyes going wide at the sight of Ryan, in front of his closet with several toys. “What are--” Gavin started, glancing at the open closet door. Ryan beamed and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Gavin had turned and rushed out.

“Nope!” he heard him call down the hallway. “Not doing it!”

“Aw, come one!” Ryan called back, knowing Gavin would probably go to the living room to watch TV and bleach his brain. “You don't wanna help me pick?”

“Absolutely not!” Gavin shouted back, his voice slightly fainter. “I don't know bollocks about it anyway! Choose for me, you horny git!”

Ryan laughed, looking back at the few selections he'd made. If Gavin didn't want to help pick, Ryan would make his best guesses, and they could always change it up later. His closet was quite literally right in the bedroom, and switching toys would be easy.

Despite Gavin being the one who got fucked most of the time-- there were rare nights when Ryan was sleepy and Gavin wanted to fuck, and Ryan would let him top if only to shut up his whining-- he was still skittish about taking anything up his ass. Besides Ryan's cock, he shuddered at the thought of enduring anal play that, in Gavin's mind, could end up in more pain than pleasure. All of Ryan's vibrators were smaller than his own equipment, but he lingered on the small toys all the same. Gavin would be easier to convince if he weren't worried.

Picking up a black vibrator, Ryan twisted it in his hands. It was simple, a cylinder about an inch wide. There was a switch at the bottom, and he flicked the switch on and off. The vibrations were soft, but enough to get someone worked up if it were used in the right way. It was small enough to be a good external toy, but also useable for insertion. And it was plastic; Ryan wouldn't have to worry about whatever lube he decided to use.

Nodding his own affirmation, Ryan let the toy sit on the carpet as he gathered the others up and put them back in the drawer. When he'd cleaned up the mess, Ryan snatched his chosen toy and went to the living room, catching sight of Gavin slouching in front of his TV, back up against the arm of his couch.

“Hey,” Ryan said, coming up behind him.

“Hi.” Gavin looked up automatically and offered his lips, which Ryan kissed. He kept his hands firm on the back of the couch as he pushed forward, licking the seam of Gavin's lips before drawing back, one hand coming up to show off the toy when they parted. Gavin's eyes went wide, and he scurried further back into the arm of the couch.

“Is this something you'd be okay trying?” Ryan asked, waving the vibrator a bit.

“Uh.” Gavin's eyes flicked between the toy and Ryan's face. “I wouldn't, ah, know if it's good or not.”

“It's not too big,” Ryan said, putting both hands around the toy to emphasize its length, only slightly longer than the length of his palm. “The vibrations are good, but not too intense. If we're starting out, I wanted to try something simple. You were a little unnerved by the vibrators before. I wanna show you how fun they are.” He leaned over to ruffle Gavin's hair, running his hand down to squeeze his shoulder.

“O-oh. Sounds fine.” Gavin shrugged, staring at the toy. “Are we-- right now?”

“Nah.” Ryan slipped his hand off Gavin and took a half step back. “I thought we could go out today, before I have to return you to Geoff. Why don't you get your shoes on and we'll drive around, see where the town takes us?

Gavin blinked, took one last look at the toy in Ryan's hands, and got up. “All right.” He hurried to the front door to get his shoes, and Ryan watched him go, leaving when Gavin was in the midst of tying his laces. He put the vibrator in the drawer of his bedside table, next to the condoms. If they were going to do this, he could be patient about it. The longer Gavin had to let the new ideas sit on his mind, the simpler it would be to execute them. They had the whole day to themselves, and the vibrator could wait.

 

* * *

  

It was Monday after work when Ryan took Gavin on.

He'd returned Gavin to his loft Saturday night, and let them have Sunday to themselves, without each other's presence to crowd them both. Days away from the relationship were important, to Ryan at least, and he spent the day doing some code practice on his laptop and catching up on his reading. Gavin tackled him Monday morning, kissing him long and hard until Geoff asked that he please cut it out already before he barfed.

After some time apart, Gavin eagerly agreed to come to Ryan's that night, and Ryan drove them home, going faster than he should have and gripping the steering wheel a hair too tight. He couldn't help the excitement flowing through him at the thought of what he had planned for the night.

They ordered pizza for dinner and played games. Gavin beat him at Mario Kart, mostly because Ryan didn't try, and when their bellies were full they relaxed with some television. Ryan had Gavin in his lap, rubbing slow circles across his belly. He wanted the food to settle before they did anything, and it wasn't until an hour later that he set his plan in action.

The easiest way to seduce Gavin was to kiss his neck. Like most people, Gavin melted when that area was paid attention to, and Ryan took full advantage of it. He leaned over Gavin's shoulder and started placing slow, languid kisses to the back of his neck, letting his tongue slip out on occasion to give it a small lick.

Gavin shivered, pressing back against him to silently ask for more. Ryan gave it to him, arms tightening around his waist while he nosed lightly on the skin and laved his tongue across. He sucked hard, until Gavin made a little whining noise, and Ryan took that as the cue to move Gavin off him and stand them both up.

The walk to the bedroom was quick, and Ryan shoved Gavin on the bed as soon as they walked in. Gavin let out a little noise, and Ryan discarded his shirt while he sorted himself on the bed. Once shirtless, he popped the button on his jeans and situated himself on the mattress, sitting over Gavin with a smirk. “Excited?” he asked, noting the bulge already forming at Gavin's crotch.

Gavin blushed, putting one hand over his cock. “Shut up, it's been a few days.”

Ryan barked a laugh. “A few days, such an arduous wait. Well, I can fix it.” He leaned down, capturing Gavin's lips, and running both hands down his sides. Sliding them under his shirt and massaging the skin there, digging lightly into Gavin's ribs, felt too good knowing what he was about to do. Gavin moved around a lot when they had sex, but Ryan wanted him to _squirm_.

Clothes came off quickly, and Ryan didn't waste time leaving their underwear on, taking off his own and pulling Gavin's down his legs. Gavin let out a noise of surprise; they usually left boxers on and played for a few minutes before getting completely naked. But he complied, lifting his hips so Ryan could take his underwear and throw it across the room.

Once he was properly undressed, Ryan took Gavin's hips in his hands and started working his neck again, kissing back and forth a couple times before taking a patch of skin at the base between his lips, sucking hard and licking until it turned red and he could tell it would bruise. Gavin hated it when Ryan left hickies, the embarrassment of their first night together sticking to him even though everyone knew now that they were dating. The marks sent heat straight to his groin, though, to see Gavin claimed as his. It was one of the few quirks that lent to Ryan's dominant streak.

When Gavin's neck was appropriately marked up, Ryan started mouthing at his chest, ignoring the unpleasant sensation of chest hair on his tongue in favor of listening to Gavin's mewling. He sucked his nipples briefly, but as much as Ryan liked them, Gavin didn't care to have them played with, and he moved on. Ryan's hands stayed on his hips, thumbs rubbing circles over the dip by his hipbone. When he'd reached his stomach, Ryan took his hands away to shift lower, licking around Gavin's stomach and avoiding his rapidly hardening dick.

“Gavin,” he said after a moment, and drew back to look him in the face. Gavin was flushed, hands in the sheets because he'd learned all too fast that Ryan liked to make him wait, to keep Gavin away from his own cock until Ryan said it was okay to touch. It was probably the only kinky thing Gavin allowed right away; he let Ryan stop him from touching himself, and the way it only made him more eager had given Ryan hope for trying other things.

When Gavin opened his eyes and met Ryan's gaze, Ryan sat up, and leaned over to pick up the collar still resting on the nightstand. “Do you-- would you wear this?” he asked, fingering the soft suede and the cushioned lining on the inside. Gavin's eyes got wide, and he hurried to add, “Not to control you or anything, just-- just for the image of it. I really want to see you wearing this, Gavin. You'd look so pretty with this, and nothing else.” He squeezed the collar once, for emphasis.

And oh, did Gavin look good already, blushing more than he already had as he eyed the collar. “You won't tie me up or anything?” he said, swallowing so hard Ryan could see his Adam's apple bob.

“No, not if you don't want it,” Ryan said, spreading his legs as he tried to get more comfortable, essentially sitting on Gavin's thighs. He'd wanted to see Gavin in a collar for so long, and as long as they weren't doing anything too intense, he didn't see the harm in asking. Gavin _had_ said they would try it, and the way he'd been staring at it over the weekend gave Ryan hope that he had been considering it without Ryan having to bring it up again.

Gavin took a moment to stare at the collar again, and nodded. Ryan did his best to reel in his sudden smile, and leaned over Gavin. He gently unfurled the collar, showing it to Gavin so he could get a good look before he slipped the suede under his neck. Gavin swallowed again, but didn't speak as Ryan put the end through the buckle, slipping the clasp through the hole they'd used when Gavin tried it on the first time. He put two fingers under the edge, and tugged lightly. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” Gavin took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. “I can breathe, I'm good.”

“Good,” Ryan said, kissing his forehead. “Remember, safeword out if you don't feel completely comfortable. Color?”

Gavin went blank for a moment, before he realized what Ryan was asking. “Green,” he answered after a moment's hesitation. The pause made Ryan look at him with slightly narrowed eyes, and Gavin nodded more firmly, repeating, “Green, Ryan, get on with it.”

Satisfied, Ryan kissed him again, taking his time as he pressed Gavin's lips over and over, tongue slipping out to push inside Gavin's mouth. Gavin made a soft noise and opened easily, hands coming up to tangle in Ryan's hair. He pulled gently, trying to bring Ryan impossibly closer, and Ryan wouldn't have that kind of behavior when he meant to be the one in charge. He put both hands on Gavin's face, cupping his jaw, and broke the kiss briefly to yank his head free of Gavin's grasp, before ducking in and shoving their lips together. Gavin squeaked, and Ryan smirked, the kiss more aggressive than before.

Ryan moved his hands down Gavin's neck, pressing lightly on his pulse point before tracing down his chest again. He ground their hips together, rubbing their cocks on each other in a slow push and drag that had Gavin's lips slack as he moaned. Ryan ducked under his jaw to trace the skin, licking and nipping, before he moved back and sucked his neck again.

Gavin thumped his fist into the sheets. “C-Can we move on?”

Rising to meet his eyes, Ryan grinned. “As you wish.” He bent down to kiss Gavin's cheek, and leaned up, reaching into the drawer of the bedside table. First he pulled out the lube and a condom, setting them on top to grab later. Then he grabbed what he'd been waiting for; the vibrator, small and black and _waiting_ to make Gavin writhe. He lifted it to show Gavin. “Shall we?” he asked, watching Gavin's eyes carefully.

There was no fear or shock, only mild surprise and perhaps apprehension. Gavin swallowed, eyes fixated on the toy. “Yeah, sure,” he said, though his voice wavered.

“Color,” Ryan said, shifting down on Gavin's lap again, moving his legs from under his own so he could spread Gavin and admire the sight. His cheeks flushed, and he missed Gavin's answer. “Sorry, repeat that?”

“Yellow,” Gavin said, looking ashamed to be anything but enthusiastic. “Go slow, okay?”

Ryan softened immediately, putting the vibrator down to kiss Gavin again, pressing softly and licking his lips once before he drew away. “I will,” he said. He left the toy on the bed, taking Gavin's thighs in his hands and rubbing up and down the skin, pushing against them in a light massage. Gavin made a noise, relaxing against the pillows. He was like a cat, going lax under Ryan's touch.

Ryan worked his thighs for a few minutes, before moving up toward his stomach. He kissed the skin there, still avoiding his cock, to Gavin's chagrin. Ryan moved away when he gave a small thrust to try and force him to pay attention to his dick, laughing softly. Gavin frowned at him, and Ryan made a shushing noise, picking up the toy. “We'll start easy,” he said, snatching the lube with his free hand.

Coating his hand, Ryan took Gavin's cock, relishing the moan that met his ears. Gavin started bucking immediately, and Ryan used the fist holding the toy to shove his hips down. Gavin got the message, stilling himself as best he could while Ryan stroked him.

When Gavin's cock was pulsing and as hard as it would get, Ryan took his hand away, wiping it briefly on the sheets to shake the excess lube before taking up the task of holding Gavin with it, the hand holding the toy moving to Gavin's cock. “Get ready,” he whispered, before flicking the vibrator to the lowest setting and setting the tip against the shaft.

Gavin squeaked again, and groaned, working his hips away from the feeling. Ryan tightened the grip of his left hand, keeping the vibrator on him. “Hold still,” he said, tracing the vibrator carefully up and down Gavin's lubed cock. Gavin whined, legs shaking already and toes curling in the sheets. Ryan smirked. He'd known Gavin would have a tough time, if he never experimented with a vibrator before, but watching him writhe with a collar around his throat did more than enough to keep Ryan happy as he played.

When it was clear Gavin had gotten used to it, his voice quieter and his body movements less frantic, Ryan flicked the switch on the bottom of the toy to the medium setting. Gavin jolted, thrusting so hard Ryan almost lost his grip on him. “Bloody hell,” he spat, head lifting and falling back on the pillow. “Fuck, Ryan, please,” he begged, quickly losing his voice and resorting to further moans and panting.

“You haven't seen anything yet,” Ryan said, shifting forward to keep Gavin's legs spread around him before he moved the vibrator up the the head of his cock. He held it just below, watching Gavin's face, and shifted it up. Gavin almost choked on his gasp, and Ryan stifled a laugh, pushing the vibrator hard on the tip and against Gavin's slit. Precome mixed with the lube, and Gavin practically tore at the blankets.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, _Ryan_.” Gavin whined and worked his hips up, knowing he couldn't get away and instead resigning himself to getting lost in the feeling. Ryan worked carefully, taking the vibe away when he thought Gavin might come, pushing it against his shaft to work him up again before pressing on the head. Gavin closed his eyes, legs squeezing around Ryan in silent pleading.

“Okay,” Ryan said, when he thought Gavin appropriately tortured. He sat up, leaving Gavin untouched and shutting the vibe off. “How do you feel?”

“I want to fucking come, you b-bloody unfair git.” Gavin glared at him, but it lacked any heat, blissed out as Gavin was. Ryan stuck his tongue out in reply, taking a moment to brush over his own cock and feel how it throbbed. He swore he was harder than he'd been in a while, able to tease and push Gavin in every way he'd dreamed of. And there was still more to try.

He moved, looming over Gavin and ducking his head down to place a kiss on his forehead. Ryan smiled at the way Gavin whimpered and bumped his hip with his knee. Ryan ran a hand through Gavin’s hair, trailing it down his jaw to his neck, and resting on the collar. Carefully, as he kissed Gavin on the cheek, he pulled it, just enough to make Gavin aware of its presence. Gavin gasped, back arching. Ryan kissed him again, harder than before, pushing his tongue in before Gavin could comply. He traced around the edges of his mouth, pulling back to press a more chaste kiss to his lips, and retreating from Gavin entirely. “How about we work on that?” he whispered, nuzzling Gavin's temple.

“Please,” he gasped, arching again.

Soft, pliant, and begging. This was _exactly_ how Ryan wanted him.

The vibe sat quietly near his leg, innocent as a sex toy could be. Ryan eyed it, before picking up the lube. “Same rules apply,” he said, as he worked a generous amount over his hand. “No touching yourself unless I tell you to. Trust me, this is going to be fun.”

Gavin huffed, watching Ryan. “You're not putting that damn thing in me, are you?”

“Well.” Ryan closed the lube and tossed it. His eyes flicked to the condom, but he didn't plan on putting the vibe back on Gavin's cock. If he had his way, he wouldn't even need to fuck Gavin to make him scream. He left the condom where it sat on the bed near Gavin's stomach, shifting to put one hand under Gavin's thigh and rest the other just near his entrance. “It's either let me lube you up and use the vibrator, or . . . we stop here, and you can get yourself off. Your choice.”

It wasn't much of a choice, and they both knew that. Gavin narrowed his eyes, before swallowing thickly and nodding. Ryan kissed his stomach to distract him while he pressed a finger in. The first time he'd done this, Gavin had a bit of experience, but not enough that he didn't whine and complain a little. Now he sat quietly, tensing around Ryan reflexively before forcing himself to relax. Ryan helped the process, kissing and mouthing at his stomach and groin, still avoiding his cock so blatantly that Gavin tried to thrust up again. Ryan looked up at that, one eyebrow raised, and it was enough to chide Gavin into stilling himself.

One finger quickly became two, thrusting and scissoring to get Gavin ready. The vibrator was much thinner than his cock, and Gavin wouldn't need as much prep to handle it. Ryan only took a couple more minutes before he pulled out, leaving Gavin open and needy. “Ready?” he said, as he grabbed the toy and smeared the last of the lube on it.

When Gavin nodded, Ryan put the toy at his entrance, working it in slowly. It wouldn't have been so slow, but he wanted to be sure Gavin was completely comfortable before they got to the _really_ fun part. Ryan pushed it in and out in turns, rubbing Gavin's thighs as he worked. Gavin's hands tightened, and found their way to Ryan's hair, tangling in it. Ryan obeyed the silent request to kiss him briefly, but he didn't linger. He wanted to see it when Gavin came undone.

He pulled the vibrator out slightly, and angled it, until he brushed Gavin's prostate and made him jump. “There we go,” he whispered, and threw Gavin a devilish grin. Without saying another word, he flicked the toy to its lowest setting, and delighted in the moan that came out.

Gavin worked his hips into the feeling, his breaths coming out faster as Ryan pressed gently on his sweet spot.

“Fucking _christ_ ,” Gavin whined, trying to close his legs against the intensity. Ryan's presence stopped them, and he took a moment to flick the setting up again and thrust the toy a little, before pushing it on Gavin's prostate again. “Shit!” Gavin's mouth fell open and he gasped, hands yanking Ryan's hair.

“Stop,” Ryan said, the barest hint of annoyance in his tone as he used his free hand to remove the fingers pulling at his hair. Gavin let out a small noise of complaint, and his hands went back to the blankets, curling tight. Ryan pushed hard on his hip and worked the toy in and out, brushing on his prostate enough to make him groan, stopping entirely when he thought Gavin would come.

It made for a beautiful picture. Gavin, laid out, blushing from his cheeks to his collarbone. His hands twisted and raked in the blankets, feet pushing hard on the mattress to lift his hips, which refused to yield under Ryan's strong grip. The collar, pale blue, contrasted well against the flushed skin. Ryan let himself indulge in a moan at the sight, forgetting the toy to give himself a couple strokes. Gavin's cock was hard on his stomach, begging to be touched.

“Ryan,” Gavin whimpered, looking up at him through his long lashes. “Ryan, I can't take it, please.” He was quiet, voice softer than it'd been all night. A twinge of guilt tugged at Ryan's heart, and he came back to himself, remembering that Gavin was brand new to this, and he had to be careful.

“Color?” he murmured, sliding the toy out.

“Uh. Red, I think.” At Ryan's crestfallen look, Gavin hurried to sit up a little, resting on his elbows. “Not red like I wanna stop, but, um, I think I'm good with the, the vibrator. If you don't mind.” He tried to smile sheepishly, but his brow furrowed and he ground his hips against the sheets as Ryan put a hand over his stomach. He was still throbbing and waiting to come, and bit his lip when Ryan's hand came close to his cock.

“Okay,” Ryan whispered, climbing up the bed and settling himself next to Gavin. He kicked the toy off the edge of the bed, resolving to pick it up in the morning, along with the bottle of lube. Once laid out by Gavin's side, he nuzzled into his temple, slowly gripping Gavin's cock and giving a slow pump. Gavin whined, nearly dropping down again as his arms shook. “Want me to get you off?” he asked, voice low and husky. He bit at Gavin's ear, relishing the throaty groan it got him.

“Yes, please,” Gavin begged. Ryan obliged, stroking him, letting his other hand hook a couple fingers in the collar at the same time. He tugged lightly, just enough to remind Gavin that he was wearing it, and within a few seconds Gavin was coming, gasping as he thrust against Ryan's fingers. Ryan kept a hand on him, working him through the aftershocks, and finally let him go.

Picking up some tissues from the box on the table, Ryan bent over Gavin's belly to clean up the mess, leaving a few kisses on the hairy skin as he did so. Gavin squirmed, and huffed out a sigh when Ryan lay beside him again. The second Ryan had settled, prepared to finish himself off-- the kinks were about Gavin, after all, and he'd more than enjoyed the show-- he let out a grunt at the heavy weight suddenly on his hips.

Gavin gave him a kiss, pushing forward and drawing back in quick turn, grinning down at him. “That was fun,” he said, as his fingers reached up to undo the collar. Ryan didn't stop him. The collar was for Gavin, on his terms, and he had a right to remove it whenever he wanted. When Gavin had set it back on the table, he stretched out his legs, sitting just under where Ryan's cock still hung, hard and ready, and put a hand over the head. Ryan couldn't resist a gasp, biting his lip. “We're definitely doing that again,” Gavin said, as he thumbed at the cock head. “For now, though, I think it's time I repaid you for that wild ride.”

Ryan took that as a positive sign, even as he lost himself to Gavin's touch.

 

* * *

 

As long as they were going slow, Ryan made sure they went _very_ slow.

He didn't touch the topic of kink again for a week. After they'd recovered from their night together using the vibrator, Ryan sat Gavin up in bed for an earnest talk, about what he'd liked and hadn't liked. Gavin admitted that the strong vibrations were a bit overwhelming and something they could work up to rather than hitting right away, but he'd more than enjoyed Ryan playing with him and it was forever on his 'yes' list for sex. Ryan smiled and kissed him, happy that at least one thing had worked out.

Gavin told him he liked having the collar on, too, and Ryan practically sang his happiness at that. The collar was hardly necessary, but it was a big turn on for him, and being compatible in their sex life mattered a lot, for Ryan.

Because of this, he didn't dare speak about it again too soon. Ryan left the collar on the bedside table, and he kept his closet closed except to pick out any clothes that weren't in his dresser. Gavin didn't approach the topic either, but Ryan caught him stealing glances at the collar.

Slow as they might be going, Ryan had no wish to keep the topic under wraps forever, and took matters into his own hands when it became clear Gavin wasn't going to talk about it, that he froze when Ryan made casual mentions of sex, obviously thinking about what they’d done. A week after their first session, Ryan stole the collar from the bedroom, and left it on their coffee table.

Gavin practically choked when he walked into Ryan's house after work, dropping his bag in the hall before going to the living room, and freezing in the doorway. Ryan chuckled, guessing easily what he'd seen. “Anything wrong?” he asked lightly, as he stepped up behind Gavin and hooked a chin over his shoulder.

“You bloody minx,” Gavin accused, turning in Ryan's arms to glare at him. “I know what you're planning.”

“Is that so?” Ryan tilted his head to place a chaste kiss on Gavin's cheek. “I don't see why you'd say that. Why don't you sit, and I'll order us take out, hmm?” He kissed Gavin again, under his jaw, and practically had him melting.

Slipping his arms from Gavin's waist, Ryan moved to the kitchen to grab the house phone, even though his cell phone sat happily in his pocket. The excuse to let Gavin stew by himself in the living room made his lips quirk up, and he bent around the doorway to stare at the couch. Gavin sat on one end, arms crossed and looking curiously at the collar, innocently resting on the end of the coffee table.

Once the food was ordered, Ryan went in, picking up the collar and swinging it around his fingers. Gavin startled, and looked up, eyes flicking between him and the collar. “Relax,” Ryan said, bending down. He opened the collar and slipped it around Gavin's neck, latching it in the same place they'd used the last time they played. Ryan kissed his cheek. “Chinese food should be here in about twenty minutes.” Settling easily onto the couch, Ryan lifted an arm to invite Gavin in.

He hesitated, fingering the collar. “Is twenty minutes enough time?”

“For what?” Ryan raised an eyebrow, and patted the back of the couch with the arm he still held up. “Come on, Gav, let's relax before the food gets here.”

Gavin took his time getting in close, watching Ryan carefully and still tugging at the collar. He didn't try to remove it, simply played with it and he curled in close and sighed at the feeling of Ryan's arm coming around him and giving a gentle squeeze.

Ryan knew very well what Gavin expected, but he wouldn't be giving him the stress of worrying about it. He settled for grabbing the remote and turning the TV on, his hand trailing down Gavin's arm and occasionally digging a nail in the skin, giving Gavin scratches that wouldn't leave marks. It made Gavin shiver, and bend down to rest his head on Ryan's chest.

The third time Ryan saw Gavin's hands moving beneath him, going under his jaw to toy with the collar, he used his free hand to grab Gavin's and pull them away. “Stop that,” he said, and kissed the top of his hair. “Don't play with it, you'll stretch the material.”

Gavin glanced up, a small pout on his face, but listened, keeping his hand wrapped up in Ryan's and settling the other over Ryan's thigh and rubbing idly.

The food came, and Ryan got up to retrieve it. He left a nice tip with the delivery girl and carried the two paper bags on one hand, setting them on the coffee table. He fetched plates and napkins, and they both pulled a mix of foods from the aluminum dishes, sitting apart for the sake of eating. After a third serving and some soda Ryan had in the fridge to wash it down, Gavin found a bad movie on TV and they settled in again. He'd seemed to forget about the collar, as they lay down with Gavin atop Ryan's chest.

When Ryan got up a half hour later, though, Gavin sat up and watched him leave with eager eyes. “Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” he answered easily.

The whine from Gavin made him stop, and Ryan turned with an amused grin. “What?”

“Ryan,” Gavin said, hitting the cushions with a fist. “I've been in the collar all bloody night, what the hell?!”

Reaching over the arm of the couch, Ryan grabbed Gavin's bicep and pulled him up, tucking Gavin against his chest and resting his face against his temple, nuzzling in there. “Did you want to take it off? You can do that.”

“No, I--” Gavin stopped, blowing air hard through his nostrils.

Ryan let his smile grow, pulling back to look at Gavin and let a hand rest around his jaw. “Yes?”

It seemed to dawn on Gavin, all at once, and he searched Ryan's face for any hint of intention. A spark of lust or the way his eyes narrowed when he planned something. Finding nothing, he frowned, and leaned down to butt his head against Ryan's shoulder. “You're an absolute prick.”

Ryan couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out. “What? I didn't do anything!”

“Exactly!” Gavin slapped lightly at his arm. Ryan laughed again and pulled back, pecking Gavin's lips. Gavin pouted, and Ryan stuck his tongue out before turning and walking out, down the hall to use the bathroom.

When he got back, Gavin was on the couch again, and he still had the collar around his neck.

 


	3. got you stuck in my teeth

One thing that Gavin loved to do, was praise Ryan's cooking.

From the first intimate date they had, when Ryan made him dinner, Gavin spoke highly of his food and never hesitated to take several servings. He claimed it wasn't as good as Geoff's, and never would be because the man cooked for his family almost every night, but he still took the best meat portions and the first dip of homemade sauce when Ryan offered it up.

It made the next kink on Ryan's list an obvious, if odd, choice.

One Sunday, Gavin helped him go shopping. It wasn't their favorite activity, but Ryan went to the grocery store every week or so and if Gavin stayed the weekend he was often dragged along for the ride. Ryan did his best to alleviate the pain of his sacrifice, singing along with the radio in the car so Gavin could laugh at him on the way over, and carrying a majority of the bags. He didn't tolerate whining, though, and wouldn't hesitate to shut Gavin up if he complained too much.

“Stop complaining,” Ryan said as he slipped through the door. He had two arms full of plastic grocery bags, maneuvering past the entrance hall to put them on the kitchen counter. Behind him, Gavin had a heavy bag in one hand and a couple milk jugs in the other, groaning at the weight of it.

"It's _heavy_ ,” he said, like that excused the pained noises he kept making, despite the fact Ryan knew as well as he did that the bags couldn't be more than fifteen pounds, and the milk jugs significantly less. Ryan raised an eyebrow as Gavin set them down next to his own haul, ruffling Gavin's hair.

“I appreciate the hard work,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Help me put everything away, and then we can start the xbox up with some snacks.”

The promise of snacks drove Gavin on, whining again as he took out cheese and a carton of eggs and moved around Ryan to place them in the fridge.

Taking out the bread, Ryan stopped, and eyed the contents of the bag he held. He'd gotten a few new items this week, his mind already spinning with possibilities. There wouldn't be a better time than now to introduce the topic, especially if Gavin freaked out like Ryan thought he might. Taking the casual route, Ryan pulled out jars of jelly and set them in the pantry as he said, “You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea to mix some food with our sex life.”

That had Gavin pausing at the fridge, and he stood slowly to stare at Ryan with wide eyes. He blinked, and said, “What, you wanna eat sandwiches in bed or something?” At the look Ryan shot him, he snorted.

"No,” Ryan said carefully, turning back to the counter to pull more food out of the bags. “I was thinking something smaller, and more . . . succulent.” The last word curled around his lips, and when he gave Gavin a sly smile, he saw the beginnings of blush tinging his cheeks. Standing straighter, Ryan put one hand on the counter and the other on his hip, waiting for Gavin to object. He didn't, and Ryan continued, “As long as we're playing around, I thought we could try something neither of us is used to. I've played with food in bed a couple times, not extensively, but I wondered if it were something you'd like. I want to explore our sex lives _together_ , Gavin.”

That made the blush come on full force, coloring Gavin's cheeks and neck. Ryan huffed out a laugh, stepping close to bring Gavin's head up from where he ducked it down against his chest, shoulders hunched. He loosened when Ryan took his face between his hands, delicate fingers coming under his jaw. Ryan kissed him, slow but forceful, tongue peeking out briefly to tease at the seam of his lips before he drew away. Gavin opened his mouth and sputtered, words failing him as Ryan stared into his eyes.

Ryan beamed, feeling the victory already.

“It still sounds absurd,” Gavin managed, voice weaker than before.

Ryan shrugged, letting go of Gavin to pull out one of the things he'd bought to convince him. A box of strawberries sat innocently in his hands, and Ryan flicked it open, taking one of the red berries out and looking at Gavin as he did so. He waggled his eyebrows, and laughed again at the way Gavin gasped and nearly choked in his surprise. Ryan fought the urge to comfort him, staying still with the strawberry in hand until Gavin gathered himself.

He popped the berry into his mouth easily, sliding it past his lips and biting down slowly, avoiding licking his lips so some of the juice could trail down his chin. “Shame,” he said, closing the box and moving past Gavin to put it in the fridge. “I thought we could have some fun.” Ryan turned around, pleased that Gavin was still watching him, and wiped the juice off his face with his index finger before licking it off, letting his tongue slather over the pad of his finger just a moment too long.

“You're a monster,” Gavin declared, rushing to grab the next bit of food, a bag of tomatoes, and put them away. Ryan watched his angry, sharp movements, but he also saw the way Gavin's pupils were blown out and the blush that still lingered over his tanned skin.

This would be a fun challenge.

 

* * *

 

The assault to convince Gavin to try a bit of food play continued into the evening. Ryan made turkey and spent an inordinate amount of time praising the taste, moaning around almost every bite and licking up the herb sauce he'd drizzled over his meat. Gavin fumed and refused to meet his eyes, although his gaze lingered every time Ryan put the fork to his lips. By the end of it Gavin looked ready to burst, squirming in his chair and fiddling with his utensils just to give his hands something to do besides touch his cock like he obviously wanted.

If Gavin had actually refused to try this particular avenue, Ryan would respect his wishes. But Gavin hadn't actually said he didn't want to, and he wasn't insisting he stop the teasing either, so he continued.

After dinner, they settled on the couch together to unwind. Gavin worked on a game Michael had recommended to him based on a rage quit that turned out to be more fun than he'd anticipated, making Michael work hard to generate the necessary anger. Gavin didn't share the sentiment; he grumbled under his breath as his character jumped about the screen.

“Be right back,” Ryan said, pecking him on the cheek. Gavin leaned into the touch and sat up straighter, not looking as Ryan stood and walked to the kitchen.

He pulled a popsicle from the fridge, not an unusual thing to do considering they lived in Austin and Ryan appreciated little snacks. Once back in the living room, he opened it, a thrum of excitement running through him when he saw Gavin watching him. Ryan didn't wait to get to business, sticking the popsicle in his mouth and slaving his tongue over the top.

“Oh, come on,” Gavin whined, fingers faltering on the controller.

Ryan smiled around his treat, running his tongue down the sides. “What?”

A second later, the controller smacked against the coffee table, and Gavin had stood, his hands raised in surrender. “I'm going to bed, this is ridiculous, and you're a right git.”

Ryan burst out laughing, following as Gavin scurried away to the bedroom. He dropped the popsicle in the bathroom trash can as he passed through the hall, hurrying to catch up and snag Gavin around the waist before he got through the bedroom door. Gavin whined when he dropped tacky kisses down his neck, the dye from the popsicle staining both Ryan's lips and Gavin's neck red.

Gavin got away, but in some form of protest, he forwent kissing Ryan again before bed, even after he'd brushed the sugar and food dye from his teeth. Not at least making out before bed left Ryan a little empty, but Gavin was clearly fighting purely out of spite rather than actual desire for him to stop, and Ryan resolved to get him to break one way or another. He could have his little tantrum, for now.

The onslaught didn't stop there. At work on Monday, Ryan took a banana from the kitchen and ate it in the office, running his tongue up and down when no one else was looking, and making sure to meet Gavin's eyes. Gavin glared at him through his stares, unable to tell him off with their co-workers there. The minute they were alone, in the car to leave for lunch, Gavin assaulted his lips and worked a hand over Ryan's thighs, blocking him from the steering wheel before he drew back and muttered something about wishing they could shag in the car. Ryan started the engine and gave him a reassuring pat on the head.

At lunch Ryan ordered a small dessert with chocolate, and purposefully swiped some on Gavin's nose so he could lean down and lick it off. Gavin sputtered and blushed, more horrified they were in public than anything else, and hurried them out of the restaurant with a few twenties slapped down for the bill. Ryan gave him a few quick kisses to the top of the head as an apology.

The best came the next day, though. Ryan stopped after lunch that day, sure that Gavin was about to forbid sex if it continued. On Tuesday, Ryan drove him home, spending the evening in his loft with him and making Gavin dinner rather than eating with Geoff. Gavin hated missing out on anything Geoff made, but according to him it would be weird to eat dinner with his boyfriend and his boss' family. Ryan happily made him food in the tiny kitchenette in his loft.

Tonight they were having pasta, with homemade tomato sauce. Ryan lifted the spoon to his lips to taste it, an idea already in mind. “Can you come here a sec, Gavin?”

He'd been sitting on his bed, and looked up when Ryan called. “Yeah, sure.” Gavin hopped off the bed and bounded over, slipping in beside Ryan and glancing at the sauce. The first time Ryan made him it, Gavin complained that he could use instant sauce and be done with it, but shut up when he tasted the finished product. Now, he tried to grab at the spoon, intent on stealing a taste.

“Ah, ah,” Ryan chided, holding the plastic spoon away from him. “I'm gonna let you taste, Gav, but you can't be a grabby little shit.”

“Don't be such a spoil sport.” Gavin made another swipe at the spoon, which Ryan held high.

“Let me,” he insisted, holding Gavin at arm's length with a hand against his chest. Gavin pouted, and listened, bringing his arms down. Ryan dipped the spoon in the sauce, bringing up a teaspoon sized dollop.

Gavin waited with a quirked eyebrow as Ryan shifted, facing Gavin and holding the spoon in his left hand. With the other, he took Gavin's chin and gently made him look up, until their eyes met. “Tell me what you think,” he said, low and breathy, and moved the spoon to Gavin's lips. His eyes had gone wide when Ryan grabbed him, and he stared with barely parted lips as Ryan took control of the situation.

Ryan waited, thumb pushing on Gavin's chin until he opened his mouth further, and delicately pressed the spoon to his lips. Gavin's tongue slipped forward, licking up the sauce automatically, tasting the tomatoes and herbs Ryan had carefully mixed into it. Gavin’s eyes were lidded and his tongue moved slowly, watching Ryan for any sort of reaction.

Leaning close to Gavin's ear, lips pressing gently on the shell, Ryan whispered, “Tell me how it tastes, Gavin. How the flavors play on your tongue, how it burns down your throat. Let me know exactly what you think, so I can make it _precisely_ to your tastes.”

Drawing back to look Gavin in the eyes again, he narrowed his own, and pushed the spoon an incremental amount to encourage Gavin, so he licked the underside of the spoon as well.

Ryan didn't move it until he'd cleaned off most of the surface, and pulled it away. “So?”

Pausing to inhale deeply, Gavin let out his breath and muttered, “Bloody christ.”

“What?” Ryan turned back to the sauce, stirring as if he hadn't just taken Gavin in hand and made him eat it. “Was the sauce that good? Or was it _that_ bad? Do I need to add something?”

“ _Ryan_.” The sound of his name spoken with such a desperate whine made him smile, and when he turned back, Gavin was frowning at him and shifting on his feet. When he glanced down, he saw that Gavin was half hard in his pants. “This isn't fair.”

“I never said this would be fair,” Ryan said with a shrug. “But if it helps, I'm not trying to make you mad. Safeword me at any point.”

Gavin huffed, arms crossed. “I don't want to safeword.”

“Then what's the problem?”

“You're a _tease_ ,” he moaned, leaning forward to knock his forehead against Ryan's shoulder. When Ryan only continued cooking the sauce, stirring it calmly, he butted his shoulder again, repeating it a couple times and sighing again. “Prick.”

“Hey, it can end any time.”

Gavin's arms wrapped around his waist, tightening. Ryan paused, turning the oven to a lower setting so he could give Gavin his full attention. He placed his own hands over Gavin's and shifted to press his back closer against Gavin's chest. “Say what you want,” he murmured.

He could feel the full body flinch, and then Gavin was pushing him around, until they faced each other. Gavin leaned up to press a kiss to his throat, nuzzling there briefly. “Fine, then. I give up.”

Ryan's breath hitched, fear gripping him. “Give up?”

“I'm not gonna keep fighting this.” Gavin pulled away, shrugging. “I said no to the food because it sounded weird, but . . . the way you've been doing things, I think I can see some appeal. So I give up, let's do your smegging food thing before I collapse, or you give me a stomach ache.”

A moment passed, and another, as Ryan searched Gavin's eyes. “You don't have to,” he said, bringing his hands up to curl around Gavin's biceps. “I was teasing, I didn't mean to--”

“Oh, stop, with the sacrificial bullshit.” Gavin brought his hands back to Ryan's waist, curling his fingers to dig in just the way Ryan liked. It made him slightly weak in the knees, and he had to focus to hear what Gavin said next. “It's like the other stuff, it's not a hard no. I'll try it, if you do. And as long as we don't have, like, an entire meal while we're naked in bed or something.”

Ryan took a moment to process what he said, and laughed, bending down to press a hard kiss to Gavin's lips. “Excellent,” he said against it, barely drawing back so he could kiss a little line down Gavin's jaw before he stood straight again. “I promise it won't be elaborate. We can try together and if we both hate it, that'll be fine.”

Gavin smiled, hands slipping to Ryan's lower back as he drew in, tucking his head under Ryan's chin. “Sure thing, love. Now, you better keep cooking before you burn our food, yeah?”

 

* * *

 

Gavin didn't like being away from the Ramseys for too long. So as much as he enjoyed spending quiet weekends alone with Ryan at his home, he enjoyed the occasional date at his loft. That weekend Ryan brought him home, with some clothes and extra supplies in his backpack so he could stay for a day or two, depending on how annoyed Geoff got at seeing him hanging around. It wasn't as awkward as it could be, after a couple months of it, but Ryan wished they could have their own place and not bother their boss.

Not for the first time, as they pulled in the driveway, Ryan wondered if they could move in together. They'd mentioned it a couple times, but Gavin always spoke of how he'd miss the Ramseys and he wasn't sure they were far enough in their relationship yet. Ryan did his best to understand, even though he'd had several boyfriends live with him and he knew the benefits to sharing a living space with someone he considered a friend. Gavin meant more than a casual friend or sex partner, and they almost lived together anyway; he didn't see a problem with taking the next step.

But this was about Gavin's comfort, so Ryan shoved the thought aside. If the nagging desire got too bad, he'd say something. Tonight they had different business, as the extra weight in his bag reminded him. Ryan waited for Gavin to unlock the loft and followed him in, setting his bag down and waiting for Gavin to shuck off his jacket before grabbing his hand.

“Hey,” he said, low and enticing. “I thought we could try something tonight.”

Gavin went red, leaning into him. “Are you finally doing your bloody food thing?”

“Yes, but.” Ryan reached in his pocket and pulled out Gavin's collar. The sight made Gavin blush more than he had been. “I'd hoped we could relax for a little first and play some games, and then get started once you're not wound up.”

“Who says I'm wound up?” Gavin asked, eyeing the collar as Ryan slipped it around his neck. Several times, Ryan had asked him to wear it when they weren't doing anything sexual, and it sat low on his neck now as he left it slightly loose. “I wasn't wound up until you started this whole adventure,” Gain added, bring a hand up to touch the collar.

“Well now you can relax.” Ryan kissed him, and dragged them both to the couch. “Pick out a game and I'll beat your ass in it for a while.”

Gavin grinned, unable to turn down a challenge. “All right then!”

Ryan watched him scrabble to grab a game from his pile and flip his xbox on, the loosened collar bouncing around his neck. He hadn't meant to leave it one hole looser, but the way Gavin looked at him a moment ago made him want to remind Gavin of exactly what they were doing when the time came. He'd tighten it to it's usual place after they got started.

Gavin sat back and tossed him a controller. Ryan looked at the screen, groaning when he saw Mario flashing across.

“This is what you asked for,” Gavin reminded him giddily. “If I'm going to relax, I wanna do it shouting.”

Ryan's lips quirked up, and he settled into the couch. “I get to play Mario, then.”

An hour and a half later, Gavin was cheering, pumping his fist as he paraded around the room. Ryan let his head fall into his hands, looking up at Gavin from under his lashes. The lad had won three of five games and wouldn’t let Ryan forget it for quite a while.

“I am the champion!” he crooned, falling back on the couch. “Admit it!”

“You might be champion of Mario,” Ryan said, “but I'm still in charge.” He reached out and hooked a finger in Gavin's collar, pulling gently. Gavin yelped and fell on his side, shoulder digging into Ryan's thighs. Ryan forced him to shift before he got comfortable, and laid a hand over Gavin's temple to stroke his hair. “There,” he said. “Much better.”

Gavin had gone quiet in Ryan's forcefulness, one finger on his collar in fear that Ryan might have pulled too hard, but it fell when the soft motions in his hair started. He blinked, and let the full weight of his head rest in Ryan's lap. “Bully,” he said without any heat.

“You need the reminder.” Ryan dug his fingers in just enough to pleasantly scrape at Gavin's skull. “Are you feeling better now? No heavy work lag left in you?”

Gavin hummed, nuzzling just below Ryan's knee. “I guess so.”

“You guess?”

“I _like_ being with you.” Gavin turned over to smile at him. “But don't think I didn't notice you hefting more weight in your bag. I'm wondering what you're up to.”

“Nothing I didn't already mention,” Ryan assured him. “If you're demanding an explanation though, I can't give it to you. It's meant to be a surprise.”

“A surprise? How dull.” Gavin leaned further into the careful strokes of Ryan's hand. “Just explain it to me.”

“Why explain when I can show you?” Ryan's hand slipped down to the collar, lifting it from the latch to tighten it one notch, to the preferred tightness that would have Gavin constantly aware of its presence without hurting him. “Color?”

Gavin swallowed, forcing the collar to move around his Adam's apple. “Green.”

“All right then.” Ryan bent down for a swift kiss, and put a hand under Gavin's back. He forced him up quickly, moving to the kitchenette where he'd put his backpack down, and opened the main pouch. “You were right about the bag. I didn't think you'd notice.”

“I'm more keen than you think, Rye.” He couldn't see Gavin from where he was, bent over the bag and pulling items out of it, but Ryan would bet money Gavin was twirling his collar.

And he was proven correct when he stood up, a plastic box and plastic bottle in each hand. “Stop playing with it,” he said, adding a hint of force to the tone. It made Gavin drop his hand, though he fidgeted on the couch to make up for the lack of motion.

“What do you have there?” he asked, craning his head to look.

“Cherries,” Ryan said, and lifted the plastic box for him to see over the kitchen counter. “Pitted and de-stemmed. Not maraschino, though, sorry.” He flipped open the lid and pulled a cherry out, biting into it. “I thought we'd use something easy, in case we never wanna do this again.”

“Oh.” Gavin's cheeks colored, but he smiled. “I like cherries.”

“Mhm. And this.” Ryan hefted the bottle of chocolate syrup that Gavin no doubt already saw, tipping it to feel the syrup slosh back and forth. “Chocolate isn't my favorite, but it's good, and simple enough as far as usage.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Gavin snorted. “You're terrible, and you're going to make a damn mess. That chocolate will _stain._ ”

Ryan quickly bent over again and rummaged in his bag until he found the stash of brown towels he'd bought from the dollar store the other day, just for this. “Do you take me for an amateur? I have us covered, quite literally.” He opened the towel in his hand and fluffed it out. “We'll save your sheets and have some fun. How does that sound?”

Gavin's eyes flicked between the towel and the food resting on the counter, swallowing. “Um, good. Good.”

Folding the towel over his arm, Ryan quirked an eyebrow. “Color?”

“Green,” Gavin said, a little too fast. He added, “I'm just a bit wary. It's new.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Ryan grabbed the supplies, rounding the kitchen counter and walking to the sofa, bending down to plant a heavy kiss on Gavin's cheek. “I'll do all the work and you sit back and enjoy it. Stay here while I set it up.” He walked across the room to the bed, smaller than Ryan's due to the loft's size, but workable. He set the supplies on the dresser next to it and turned to peek at Gavin.

Predictably, he'd moved, sitting at the edge of the couch to watch Ryan. “I said stay there,” Ryan warned, stripping the blanket and the top sheet so he could set the towel down. He rolled up and tossed the blankets in a corner to keep them safe from the mess, and turned to grab the other towels from his bag. “Stay,” he reminded Gavin as he passed.

When he turned from his bag to go back to the bed, towels in hand, Gavin had frozen, sitting so still it almost made him worry. But he saw the hint of a smirk at Gavin's lips. Ryan bopped him lightly on the head as he walked by. “No sass.”

“What? I'm being still.” Gavin did his best to muffle a laugh without actually covering his mouth, and failed. Ryan rolled his eyes as he covered the rest of the bed, taking the covers off the pillows and rolling the last towel over them. Gavin's bed was an ugly beige mess now, but it would be safe from the worst of the chocolate stains, should any of it get away from Ryan. He might or might not let it, depending on how Gavin behaved.

“Okay,” he said, after setting the cherries open on the dresser and sitting the chocolate bottle as close to the bed as he could. “I think that's good, for now. I have whipped cream, too, but we'll see how it goes. Gavin?” Ryan turned, catching Gavin as he was shifting from his poorly chosen sitting arrangements. He stopped when Ryan looked at him.

“What?” he asked, as Ryan continued to stare.

“Nothing,” Ryan murmured. “I'm just admiring.”

Gavin choked on nothing at the praise, ducking his head. Ryan strode across the room and placed both hands on his shoulders, keeping Gavin from hiding his face as he kissed him. “Strip,” he said against Gavin's lips, pressing several light kisses there before standing up and pulling his shirt off.

Eager to please, Gavin followed, standing and removing his clothes to match Ryan's pace so that when he dropped his pants, Ryan was already down to boxers and he could openly stare.

Ryan didn't let him for long. With one hand threading through Gavin's and the other grabbing at his collar, Ryan led him to the bed and sat him down. He pulled the leather briefly, testing it and making Gavin sigh. Ryan laughed and kissed his cheek. “Lay down for me, Gav.”

He obeyed so easily, he was practically putty in his hands. Ryan sat beside him rather than over him, kissing Gavin again while his hand pressed to his chest and started running fingers lightly over the skin, trailing through Gavin's chest hair and massaging his stomach. Gavin keened into his mouth and shifted away, unused to heavy attention on his belly that didn't involve kissing.

“Trust me, Gavin,” Ryan said, moving lower on the bed and rubbing his thumb over the crest of Gavin's stomach. “I wanna make you feel good.”

“I trust you,” Gavin said automatically, still shying away from the pressure.

“Then relax.” Ryan bent down and pressed his lips just under Gavin's pecs, licking along the skin to ease him into familiar touch. As he did so, Ryan pushed his stomach again, gently with the tips of his fingers. He worked them in a circle, like petting a dog, with his nails occasionally scratching through the thick hair that led to Gavin's cock.

The quiet work up and focused touch on his belly had Gavin's arousal building slowly, and it felt like ages before he was half hard and circling his hips into Ryan's touch. Ryan sat up to watch as his fingers kept working, seeing the flush in Gavin's cheeks and the way the collar shifted with every movement. Gavin needed a tag of some sort, to jingle when he moved too much.

Ryan blinked, and pushed the thought away. They had plenty of time for that, later.

He reached to the table and grabbed the chocolate syrup, popping the cap. Gavin heard it, opening his eyes and gasping. “Are you gonna--” He swallowed, unable to finish.

“I won't let it get on the bed,” Ryan promised, though he knew that wasn't what Gavin was asking. He sat over Gavin's legs, below his knees, to keep him still and give himself room to work. One hand crept up and pressed on Gavin's shoulder, telling him silently not to move as the other took the bottle and tilted it over his stomach.

The chocolate dripped, first on the center of Gavin's belly, and then down, working around his belly button to avoid an awkward mess, and trailing back up before it touched his cock. Gavin whined quietly and burrowed his back into the bed, watching the syrup trail.

Ryan put the bottle upright again and moved lower, before pouring more across Gavin's thighs. He made little zig zag designs over the plump flesh, and had to sit at Gavin's side again to get back up and start dripping over his chest, wary of wrecking the new patterns. He might want to play, but Ryan didn't intend to get the mess on himself just yet.

Gavin turned his head as Ryan moved, staring at his eyes briefly before flicking back down to where the chocolate now poured over his pectorals and swirled little circles over his nipples. Ryan bent down, taking one in his mouth and swirling his tongue over it to suck away the flavor. Gavin gasped, back arching, and Ryan blew cold air to make the nipple peak before restoring the chocolate he'd licked off.

“Stay still,” he said, leaning over Gavin to put the bottle back and pick up the box of cherries. “I don't want anything spilling.”

“What are you--” Gavin tried, but Ryan shushed him with a finger to his lips, and then a kiss, pushing the thick taste of milk chocolate from his lips onto Gavin's. It worked to shut the lad up, and Ryan gave a final teasing lick before sitting back up and snatching a cherry from the box.

“If you lose these after I've placed them, I'll be upset. Don't move.” Ryan looked Gavin in the eye, searching for hesitation and fear, but he found none. He expected this to be where Gavin drew the line or called for a break, but he only looked back with pure anticipation.

Ryan took that to mean he had clearance, placing the first cherry at the center of Gavin's chest. As his fingers brushed over the skin, Gavin giggled, the cherry rolling in the layer of syrup it sat in and nearly falling off.

“Careful,” Ryan warned him, although Gavin's ticklish reaction had him smiling. He took out another cherry and placed it lower on Gavin's torso, working his way down and placing the fruit over the syrup so it would stick. It worked, mostly, although some cherries looked dangerously close to rolling off every time Gavin so much as twitched.

When he'd finished, ten or so cherries all sitting on Gavin's chest, hips, and thighs, Ryan put the box down and reached for the collar, tugging. “Color?” he whispered, leaning down to put his lips to Gavin's ear and suck lightly on the lobe.

“Ah, green,” Gavin said with a gasp. “Fuck, Rye, it's gonna take ages not to feel sticky all over. Why'd you use so much of it?”

Ryan smirked, pecking Gavin on the nose. “Because I intend to lick off every trace. Stay quiet while I do this, okay?” The hand on his collar curled underneath, just enough to dig a nail into the skin of Gavin's neck and pull the leather an inch off the skin. “Silence, or you face the consequences.”

His tone was light and amused, but Ryan could see the eagerness to listen when Gavin looked at him. He nodded, licking his lips and not saying a word. “Good boy,” Ryan praised, kissing him. Gavin's muscles were stiff with the effort of not moving, but he kissed back as best he could.

Ryan pulled back, licking his lips, and situated himself comfortably beside Gavin, with a hand touching his shoulder and the other on his knee to help keep him still. He carefully leaned down, hovering over Gavin's chest for a moment, before plucking up the cherry sitting in the middle and slowly chewing it. Gavin whined, smothering the noise halfway through, and Ryan decided not to let that count against him.

He swallowed, and stuck his tongue out, licking up the chocolate the cherry had been resting on and following the trail to Gavin's nipples. He swirled his tongue around them and bit lightly, enough to make Gavin gasp before he moved on, tracing down the chocolate on his stomach. It made his stomach curl slightly, to eat so much of it at once. Ryan should have brought a glass of water or juice, but it was too late now. He wouldn't break their rhythm unless either of them was in trouble.

Ryan plucked the cherry just above Gavin's belly button, chewing and swallowing just long enough to savor the taste. “It's good,” he said, tilting his head up to meet Gavin's eyes. “Tastes even better coming off your skin, Gav.”

Gavin blushed and turned away. “T-Thanks, I guess,” he sputtered, torso arching the slightest bit now that the cherries in the worst position had been taken away. Still, some of them moved, and Ryan squeezed Gavin's shoulder.

“Silence,” he reminded him, “and stay still.”

Gavin hummed, nodding and closing his eyes tight. His cock was straining, from the length of the torture and Ryan's tongue tracing over him, but he listened to their first established rule, that Gavin wasn't allowed to touch unless Ryan said so. It didn't apply every time they had sex, but Ryan delighted in the fact that Gavin seemed to pick up on when he should follow it, typically when Ryan flashed his dominant side. The sight of his cock, red and dripping precome, had Ryan hard as well, and he couldn't wait to finish off the food so they could get to the main event.

Staying near his upper chest, Ryan picked up each cherry with his teeth and licked up the chocolate syrup around them. Gavin gasped and squirmed, occasionally in complaint but mostly to let Ryan know he was breathless, without speaking. Ryan appreciated the immense effort. While Gavin was relatively silent in bed most of the time, he tended to let out little moans and hums to voice his agreement, and he moved _constantly_. Cutting himself off and staying still like this was practically herculean for him.

Ryan tugged the collar until Gavin looked at him, and kissed him. He pressed hard and opened Gavin's mouth, sweeping his tongue through to soak the taste of chocolate and cherries into his mouth. Gavin made a muffled noise of vague protest, one hand flying up to grip Ryan's hair. With his chest free of fruit, he could move without fear, and took the chance to lean into the kiss. Ryan pushed harder, biting at Gavin's lips before he pulled back to get a good look at them, swollen and bruised. “Mm, you look good like this,” he said, turning the collar a couple inches and pressing his thumb under the curve of his jaw. “Laid out and compliant.”

Gavin blushed again, turning to bury his face in the pillow even as his hand gripped tighter. He didn't speak again, though, and it sent a pleasant hum through Ryan, to know he was obeying orders.

Like this, Ryan ate the rest of the cherries on Gavin's body. He disentangled Gavin's hand from his hair and bent down again, picking the cherries up with his mouth and spending a few seconds enjoying the treats before he licked up the chocolate. Gavin gasped and let out strained breaths when Ryan's tongue curled across his skin, teeth coming out to bite every now and then. Ryan sucked a particularly hard bruise near the junction of his thigh and his groin, something Gavin could admire in days to come.

When he was clear of cherries and chocolate, left with only sticky residue and more saliva than Ryan thought Gavin had ever experienced at once, he sat up and grabbed one of the extra towels. Gavin had closed his eyes again, erection strained against his stomach and begging to be touched. When he felt Ryan toweling him off, he looked down.

“You can talk,” Ryan said casually, dropping the act a little.

“Thanks. Um. I feel kind of weird.” Gavin canted his hips up, giving Ryan better access as he brushed over the area, but no doubt trying to encourage him to help out with the obvious issue. “But I'm also hard as fuck and I'd really like to get off.”

Ryan barked out a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, sure.”

“Can I ask something, though?”

“Hm?” Ryan finished wiping down his chest, running through Gavin's coarse chest hair, and looked at him. “What?”

Gavin's eyes flicked to the box of cherries and the bottle sitting on the table. “Am I allowed to try this, too? Or is this a ‘you dominating me’ thing?”

Ryan turned to the food, and his eyes went wide with understanding. “Oh! I guess . . . I guess it doesn't have to be. If you'd like to try, too.” The request stunned him, but Gavin started sitting up and reaching for the chocolate and it startled him into moving, sitting back against the headboard as Gavin titled the bottle back and forth to play with it. “Be careful,” Ryan warned.

Gavin nodded idly. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. Can you lay back?”

Ryan flashed his teeth briefly. “Don't cover me in that stuff. I still want to fuck you senseless when we're done.”

The admission had Gavin hunching his shoulders slightly. “Fine, then, spoil sport.”

His pouting didn't last long. Gavin situated himself at Ryan's side like Ryan had done, turning the bottle over gently and dripping some on Ryan's chest. He didn't have as much hair as Gavin, and the trails of chocolate ran smoother over his skin, between his pecs and down his upper abdomen. Gavin turned the bottle back over and bent down, licking lightly. “It tastes good,” he said, a little dazed as he stuck his tongue out again and licked with more force.

“Mm, yes.” Ryan let his head hang back and brought one hand to Gavin's hair, gripping it tight. “Your tongue feels wonderful, Gavin.” He thrust his torso up slightly to encourage Gavin's movements.

Gavin finished the portion he'd applied and hurried to bring the bottle up again. Ryan lifted his head to watch, eyelids falling in lazy pleasure as he let Gavin do the work for a change.

That is, until the chocolate syrup bottle slipped from his hands.

Gavin had whipped it up too fast, no doubt eager to have Ryan keep praising him, and it flew from his hand, across the bed. There was a half second for Gavin to let out a surprised cry and Ryan to sit up and watch where the bottle went, before it landed on the floor and exploded in a sticky mess.

“Shit!” Ryan sat up quickly, ripping off the towel that hung over the pillows. The cap had been knocked off the bottle with the force of the drop, and a pile of liquid chocolate threatened to stain Gavin's wood floors.

He got off the bed and quickly dabbed at the chocolate with the towel, careful not to start wiping it up and smear it wider over the floor. Gavin made a choked sound, watching from the bed.

When the worst of the mess was soaked up, Ryan turned and pulled another towel off the bed, yanking it from under Gavin's legs. “Glad I brought these,” he said, mostly to himself, as he continued dabbing at the mess.

“I'm such an idiot,” he heard from the bed, and when Ryan bothered to look up, Gavin had his head in his hands. The urge to comfort him rose up, but the main issue had yet to be dealt with. Ryan stood, putting his clean hand on the side of Gavin's face, bringing him up so Ryan could kiss the top of his head and nuzzle briefly before taking the last towel from the bed and walking to the bathroom.

He came back with cleaner hands and a damp towel, scrubbing up the remaining chocolate. He'd sat the bottle upright and put the cap back on, and when he knelt to keep cleaning, Gavin got up and snatched the bottle.

The syrup and cherries were put on the kitchen counter, and Gavin vanished, coming back with a spare towel from his bathroom. He knelt with Ryan, wiping up the mess until it was visibly gone, and then going to the bathroom again to fetch wood soap and scrub it across, relieving the floor of residual stickiness. Ryan gathered the blankets and dumped them back on the bed. His cock had lost its interest, and if he were honest, all he wanted to do was curl up with Gavin and go to sleep.

“I'm sorry,” Gavin said again, rolling up the messy towels and tossing them in the laundry basket against the wall. “I messed everything up.”

“Hey, hey.” Ryan rushed to him, putting both hands on the side of Gavin's face and drawing him in for a kiss. “You didn't ruin anything,” he said, and pecked both of his cheeks. “Hang on, I'll get a washcloth for us.”

Reluctant to leave Gavin stewing in his self blame, Ryan hurried through the process of wetting a washcloth, nearly at running speed as he left the bathroom and curled in front of Gavin to scrub his chest and thighs. He used the other side of the cloth on his own chest, ensuring there wasn't any chocolate residue before putting the cloth away and climbing into bed.

Gavin refused to look at him as Ryan pulled him up and curled around him, one hand on Gavin's hip and the other resting on the pillow. Ryan kissed his cheek, and down his neck, rubbing his nose against the soft skin. “What's wrong, sweetheart?”

“I ruined it,” Gavin said, pursing his lips. “We were having fun and I cocked it all up.”

“Shush, Gavin.” Ryan brought a finger to Gavin's lips, pressing lightly until Gavin stopped pouting and looked up at him. “This wasn't a major thing for either of us,” he said. “We were trying something new, and it was fun, and we stopped when the moment left us. There's nothing wrong with that.”

“I'm the one who broke the mood!”

“Gavin,” Ryan said slowly, moving his hand down to trace and tug the collar. “I said it was fine, so it's fine, all right? I promise you that I'm not broken up over this. It's not the first time we tried to have a romantic night and it didn't turn out well.”

Gavin sunk into the pillows, defeated by logic. The unpleasant tightness in his muscles stayed, though, and Ryan ran his hand up and down Gavin's hip to soothe him. “Food is tricky,” he said, squeezing his waist. “There can be a lot of clean up involved.”

Shrugging, Gavin said, “It wasn't the damn food. I just didn't want to disappoint you. To be honest, I got off more on the collar stuff and the ordering around than I did on that ridiculous cherry and chocolate mess.” Finally, a tiny smile graced his lips, as he peered up at Ryan. “It felt nice, to listen and have you call me a good boy.”

Ryan beamed, tracing his hand back up Gavin's side and resting on the collar. He slipped his fingers under the buckle, pulling it off and setting it down on the table behind him. Gavin stroked his neck where it had been resting, and Ryan covered Gavin's hand with his own. “Next time,” he said, “we'll do something more fun. And less messy.”

Gavin giggled, curling up to snuggle into Ryan's chest. “This _was_ fun. But mostly because I was doing it with you."

Ryan wrapped both arms around him, pulling Gavin as close as he could and burying his nose in Gavin's hair. He pressed quick, gentle kisses there, and rubbed a hand over Gavin's back. “Then that's the most important thing, isn't it?”

Gavin hummed in agreement, hooking a leg over Ryan's ankle.

Neither of them got off that night, and the event was perhaps more trouble than it was worth. But Ryan slept well in the knowledge that they'd suffered a mishap and survived no worse for wear.

 


	4. if there's such a thing as too much joy

The jump from collars to petplay didn't take a lot of thought, and Ryan was the thinking type.

He liked kink. He appreciated it. And he admired those who played heavily with it, who took risks and used safewords to protect their bodies as well as their minds because that was how much danger they placed themselves in. He himself had done several intense sessions and enjoyed it, to a degree.

But at the end of the day, he was fairly vanilla compared to others. Only rarely did he get off on pain, and costumes weren't exactly his thing unless they involved dressing in the conventionally sexy way. He was so busy figuring out his sexuality as a teen that he didn't have a chance to really explore until college, and by then most of his general tastes had been formed.

That didn't stop him from trying new things and changing his preferences over time, but it meant that, as a whole, the intense end of the kink spectrum wasn't for him. He liked natural elements of play, and most of the time, his toys were just ways of extending his love of dominance, and nothing more.

Petplay was a prime example of this.

Ryan had dabbled. He'd used masks and collars, bells and tail plugs, on both the giving and receiving end. Like most of his kinks, he preferred to be the giver, and the idea of Gavin on his knees, listening to his commands with a sense of _ownership_ sent tingles up his spine.

But of the things he and Gavin had tried so far, this kink was the most intense. Vibrators were basic, the food hadn't worked out, and while Gavin was taking well to the collar play throughout it all, Ryan hadn't really tested his limits.

If they were going to explore, it was worth their time to try everything, including something that might overwhelm Gavin. They had a safeword system for a reason, and really, since Ryan saw the cat ears headband online, he hadn't gotten the image out of his head.

He bought it after the collar. It was listed in his bookmarks, and Ryan indulged in glances, but not until Gavin started responding to the collar, looking at it often and swearing with affectionate impatience when Ryan collared him outside a sexual scene, did he actually buy the thing. It arrived in a white plastic mailing envelope on one of the rare days Ryan was home alone, and he hurried to unwrap it and test out the material, bending it back and forth and feeling over the generic cat ears on the top. They weren't cheap, made with fake fur that was soft to the touch, rather than a simple substitute that qualified as fuzzy in name only. He could picture himself grabbing hold of them as the headband sat heavily behind Gavin's real ears, and it made his breath hitch.

After the food fiasco, they took a break. Ryan left the issue of kink alone for a couple weeks, lingering on other thoughts, like what if they moved in together and how many boxes it would take to pack Gavin's things away. The idea of permanence set his chest fluttering, but he could hardly ask Gavin at such a sensitive time, and focused their activities on the usual game nights with pizza or Ryan's cooking.

Gavin still wore the collar, even during the break. He went stiff every time Ryan decided to loop it around his neck, in the kitchen or in bed on lazy mornings. As soon as it was clipped, though, he went lax, and anything Ryan asked of him while he wore it suddenly wasn't a chore. He stopped groaning when Ryan asked him to fetch a glass of water or change the TV to something more pleasant than the local news. It sent pleasant hums through Ryan's body, to see him obey so eagerly while in that mindset.

He put the collar on occasionally during sex, too, but Ryan made sure not to make it a constant presence.

When the day came that he wanted to try out the cat ears, it was a casual afternoon at Ryan's house. He was making them sandwiches for lunch, and the mood, the need to see Gavin bent over and begging beneath him, struck him in a wave. Ryan went stiff, and leaned to the side to see exactly what Gavin was doing at the moment. He could see him in the living room through the doorway, curled in the armchair with a book in his hands.

Setting the sandwiches in the fridge, Ryan hurried from the kitchen, slipping into the hallway and down to the bedroom. He opened the closet, passing over the shelves of toys to where he kept his clothes. Tucked under an old blanket in the corner were the ears, the headband sitting rather innocently. Ryan grabbed it, and turned, taking the collar from the bedside table and putting it in his pocket. If he were lucky, he'd get to use both.

Gavin was still reading when he snuck into the living room, creeping up behind the chair. Absorbed at he was in his book, Gavin didn't hear Ryan come to stand behind the chair, one end of the headband in each hand. Carefully, he opened it wide and slipped it onto Gavin's head.

“Ah!” Gavin jolted, swatting at his head. Ryan stepped back and watched the headband fall when Gavin smacked it, tipping over and landing on his nose, the ends still propped over his own ears and tangled with his hair. Ryan couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up, covering the loud snorts with his hand.

Turning, Gavin narrowed his eyes, and angrily flung the headband from his face. He glared at Ryan, but didn't interrupt his laughter.

“Aw,” Ryan said, still chuckling, “you ruined it.”

“Ruined what?” Gavin eyed the headband on the floor. “Cat ears? What in the bloody hell, Ryan.” He bent over the arm of the chair to pick them up, twirling the end between his fingers. As he looked at it, realization dawned on him, and he groaned. “Oh, is this some weird sex thing?”

“Not weird,” Ryan assured him, reaching in his back pocket to take the collar out. While Gavin still played with the headband, he slipped it over his neck. Gavin stiffened, and relaxed, letting Ryan fix the suede around his neck. “Just some petplay. What I had in mind is fairly innocent, actually.”

“Innocent, my arse,” Gavin said, and snapped his mouth shut when Ryan shot him a raised brow. He'd gotten good at not mouthing off too much when he wore the collar, but he wouldn't be Gavin if he didn't slip up.

“It's nothing super intense.” Ryan walked around the armchair to sit on the couch, tugging Gavin's hand. Gavin followed the silent command, climbing into Ryan's lap. Ryan curled a hand over his hip, taking the headband with the other and putting it back on Gavin's head. It fit snugly behind his ears, the cat ears on top nearly matching his sandy brown locks. “Just wearing these with the collar.”

“You said petplay.” Gavin swallowed, tucking his head into Ryan's chest. “What is that?”

“It's like roleplay, but with animal type things. Like these ears.” Ryan flicked one. “I don't want much, just for you to be cute for me by wearing these and letting me call you my good little pet.”

He could feel Gavin shift as the words sunk in. “It's not like . . . you won't actually treat me like an animal, will you?”

“I might be more harsh about you listening to me. Good pets don't disobey orders, after all. But I won't make you drink from a dog bowl or roll over for me, no.”

Ryan didn't say anything else, waiting for Gavin to process it. This was a large step away from what they'd been doing, and he was fully aware that Gavin could say no, call a red light and take the ears off before they even did anything. Ryan wouldn't begrudge him for it.

“I might make you wear the collar more, too,” he added, when Gavin still didn't speak. “Get you used to feeling subservient. It won't be constant, unless you want it to be, and you can always red light the whole thing.”

“No, I . . .” Gavin paused. “I want to try it, I think.”

“Okay.” Ryan kissed his head, just behind the headband. “What's your color, right now?”

“I think, yellow?” Gavin laughed a little. “I'm hungry, to be honest. I thought you were making sandwiches.”

“Oh, right,” Ryan said, as though he'd forgotten. Nudging Gavin off him, he stood, and walked to the kitchen. He could practically feel Gavin's eyes on him, and turned in the doorway to find Gavin watching him, fidgeting with his fingers. “Come on,” Ryan urged, and waved him in.

Gavin came in the kitchen, and Ryan took the sandwiches from the fridge, adjusting the ingredients to be sure nothing had come out of place. He turned to get glasses and filled them both with water, when he felt a presence at his back. Gavin had come up and was pressing on his shoulder with his forehead, digging in.

“Hey,” Ryan said, filling the glasses from the filtered tap over the sink.

“You're really not gonna do anything? Even though I have the ears and collar?”

“You said yellow, and that you wanted lunch. I can wait.”

A pause, and Ryan didn't move, letting Gavin's weight fall heavy over his back as he leaned against him. After a while, he heard, “You're really unfair,” muffled into his shirt.

He laughed, taking the water to their plates and dislodging Gavin from his back. “Come on, it's time to eat.”

 

* * *

 

The key to introducing Gavin to new things was to take it slow, and though he was loathe to do it, Ryan listened to his better instincts. After lunch that day, he took the collar and headband off, and they relaxed like they might normally do, playing games and napping in the afternoon sun. Ryan took him to bed that night, but left their toys alone, enjoying Gavin without distractions.

On Sunday, he started the game.

For the morning, he left the collar alone. They went out for breakfast at the local pancake house, and came home full and laughing. Ryan smiled as he unlocked the door, thinking of how much his house felt like Gavin's, too. They went to the living room together, and Ryan worked on his laptop for a couple hours while Gavin played on his phone and read more of his book.

At noon, Ryan closed his computer, and stood. Gavin didn't notice, playing an iPhone game that required him to do a lot of screen tilting. Ryan left him to it while he went in the bedroom and snatched the collar from its designated spot. “Gavin,” he called, as he made his way back down the hallway.

“Yeah?”

He'd craned his head over the back of the couch when Ryan came back in, blinking at him.

“Time to be a good boy,” Ryan said, as casually as he could manage, and pulled out the collar. With Gavin's neck stretched out as he looked upside down over the couch at him, Ryan could see his Adam's apple move when he swallowed. Ignoring the wide eyed look, Ryan touched the back of his head and tipped it forward, latching the collar around his neck. “Good boy,” he repeated, and kissed Gavin's head.

As he'd learned to do when the collar was on, Gavin relaxed, setting his phone down and curling against Ryan when he returned to his seat. Ryan held his arms up and let Gavin climb sideways into his lap, settling his hands over his hip and upper thigh. “Good?”

“Mm.” Gavin put a hand on his shirt, pulling the fabric gently.

“Color, Gavin.”

“Green,” he said, a bit impatiently, and Ryan gave him a light slap to his thigh for it. Gavin cried out, and quickly muffled himself in Ryan's chest.

“Don't snap at me,” Ryan said, and rubbed the spot he'd hit to soothe the harsh tingle he knew Gavin would be feeling. He dug his fingers in, starting a light massage. Gavin's leg flexed, pushing into it.

Moving a hand from his hip briefly, Ryan grabbed the remote from the arm of the couch and flipped the television on, turning the volume low to serve as background noise, and something to look at so he wouldn't get lost in the way Gavin's chest rose and fell with long breathes, or how his fingers clenched and straightened with each heavy knead into the muscles of his legs.

It was an easy way to get him worked up, running a hand over Gavin's thighs and working the tension out of them. Gavin made little pleased hums a few minutes in, his other hand coming around to press on the small of Ryan's back while the other moved up to his shoulder, hanging on while Gavin enjoyed the warmth of their bodies together.

Ten minutes into it, Ryan leaned close to Gavin's ear and whispered, “Turn, so I can get the other side.”

Gavin inhaled deeply, taking a moment to open his eyes and process the request. He shifted, swinging his legs off Ryan and then around to the other side of the couch. Ryan switched hands, using his right to push and knead Gavin's left thigh, while the other hung off his hip and kept him grounded. Gavin stretched a bit and let out a groan, eyes falling closed again. “Thank you, Gavin,” Ryan said, nosing at his hair. “You're being so good.”

The praise made Gavin flex again, and he pressed a chaste kiss to Ryan's neck before going back to his light nap. He was like a cat in the sun, energy sapped out of him with every touch of Ryan's hand, feet against the couch arm to brace himself while the rest of his weight leaned on Ryan's broad chest.

When he'd spent enough time massaging Gavin's other leg, Ryan stopped, and simply traced his fingers over the insides, near Gavin's groin but not close enough to get him aroused. Gavin was too sleepy to care that he was being teased, hips occasionally pushing forward but otherwise completely still. It was an amazing start, to have him so pliant in Ryan's lap with his collar on. Ryan touched it once, tugging lightly. Gavin didn't stir.

After a half hour, he made Gavin get up. Ryan had nearly fallen asleep himself, but he needed to keep an eye on Gavin while he wore the collar to make sure he didn't slip too far. Subspace could be pleasant, but if someone weren't there to monitor a person coming out of it, they could end up with serious emotional trauma.

Ryan turned the television off and nudged Gavin until he opened his eyes. “Up,” he said, and Gavin listened, getting off his lap and standing. He stretched, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes, and turned to Ryan.

Reaching around Gavin's neck, Ryan unfastened the collar. “You did well,” he said, and rubbed a hand through Gavin's hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Warm,” Gavin said slowly, leaning into Ryan's touch. A moment later, he frowned, and let his body lean forward enough to but his head into Ryan's shoulder. “Surprised,” he added. “Thought you were gonna fuck me.”

“Mm, what a shame.” Ryan nuzzled into his temple and put a hand over his back. “You realize we don't have to have sex to be intimate?”

“I know.” He said it with the tone of a child waving off their parent's life lessons, but Ryan let it slip. Gavin was out of the collar and he didn't have the right to punish or praise him. He was back to being his own person, and Ryan would keep that distinction very clear. Gavin wouldn't feel safe without established boundaries, and he suspected that was why he liked the collar so much in the first place. It gave him an excuse to comply to Ryan's wishes.

“Come on,” he said, putting a hand under Gavin's chin and pulling his head up to kiss him. “I feel like watching a movie, pick one out of the cabinet while I make us some fruit salad.”

Gavin perked up at that, blinking again and straightening his back. “Yeah, sure.”

 

* * *

 

On Monday morning, as Gavin was waking up, Ryan slipped the collar on. Once fully awake and staring at Ryan from his pillow, Gavin made a disgruntled noise, but said 'green' when asked and Ryan took that as permission to ignore his griping. He kissed Gavin on the nose and showered, telling Gavin to stay in bed and wait for him.

They were late for work because Ryan had to fuss with Gavin's collar before and after the shower, and Gavin moved slower while getting ready, waiting for a command from Ryan every time he did something, looking over his shoulder expectantly. Ryan didn't do anything after he'd finally told Gavin to get out of bed, and removed the collar before they left.

Gavin went home to Geoff that night, and got a break from the collar. Ryan twisted it in his hands at home, thinking of what he had planned.

Tuesday they spent apart, seeing each other at work and going to lunch with the rest of Achievement Hunter, taking the day to themselves. It served them well, and any hint of the submissiveness they'd indulged in over the weekend had vanished from Gavin's attitude. He verbally bit back at Ryan and spent all their recording hours trying to simultaneously team up with him and destroy his gameplay. Ryan took it all in stride, thinking of what he would do when he got his hands on Gavin.

Wednesday, Gavin came home with him again. Geoff made some comment about why didn’t they live together already, that made Ryan flush red and tell him they were taking things slow. Geoff only grunted, not actually concerned.

On the car ride home, Ryan took the collar from his pocket and flashed it at Gavin, steering carefully with one hand as he held it up. “How do you feel about some petplay tonight?”

Gavin gaped a little. “You had that at _work_?”

“Answer the question.”

He swallowed. “If it's more of me hanging out doing _nothing_ while I wear that thing, I've got to say that it feels a bit unfair. I like it well enough, but we haven't had sex in days, and it's tiring.”

“Poor thing,” Ryan said with a grin, putting the collar on his lap and taking the steering wheel back in both hands. “We'll have sex tonight, I promise, but it's up to you what kind of sex it is.”

Gavin glanced at the collar, and back to Ryan. “If I can finally find out what the hell you've got planned for that damn cat headband, sure. I'm curious.”

“Good.” Ryan pulled into his driveway, and stopped the car, turning in his seat to look at Gavin properly. “I'm going to warn you, though, it might get intense.”

Gavin smirked and leaned across the middle of the seats to kiss him, pressing hard and parting his lips. Ryan accepted it, opening to Gavin and sweeping his tongue in his mouth. Gavin let out a little groan, and pulled back to waggle his eyebrows. “I can handle intense.”

Ryan pat him lightly on the head, both to show affection and chastise his attitude, before stepping out of the car.

He let Gavin relax in the living room for a while, getting some toasted bagels with cheese and tomatoes, and soda for them to snack on. He wanted them to focus on each other tonight, and a heavy dinner would make them sleepy. As much as he preferred eating healthier, a snack and some sugar would keep Gavin alert and ready for what was to come.

Ryan brought the food in and let them both cool down for a couple hours, watching television as Gavin snuggled into his side. After they'd had time to settle, Ryan mindlessly petting Gavin's hair and kissing him idly, he sat back and stretched an arm over the back of the couch. “Hey, Gavin?”

“Yes?”

“Can you bring the dishes to the kitchen?”

He groaned, curling tighter against Ryan. “Why me?”

“Because I got us the food in the first place. Come on, just do it. You can come right back and snuggle.”

Normally, Gavin would refuse. He'd act the part of the asshole and say no, clinging until Ryan shoved him off and did it himself. If he had his collar, he'd _have_ to listen, but Ryan wanted to wait, to get Gavin in the mindset of listening before he picked the collar back up from where he'd set it on the coffee table, where Gavin could see it and remind himself of what Ryan said.

Ryan stared down at him, and Gavin pouted. They stared each other down, refusing to move while the TV blared some action movie at them. When Ryan raised a brow, and gestured to the dishes with his head, Gavin's nostrils flared, but he finally got up and piled them together. “Fine,” he said, sticking his tongue out. “Never say I don't do anything for you.”

Ryan smiled as Gavin turned to drop the dishes off in the kitchen sink. Leaning forward, he snatched the collar and opened it, spreading his legs subtly and twirling the collar in his fingers. A minute later, Gavin returned, and froze in the doorway at the sight that greeted him. 

“I warned you,” Ryan said simply, waving the collar. “Color?”

“I, uh. G-Green,” Gavin sputtered. “What should I do?”

“Just come here and snuggle, like I said.” Ryan shifted up and opened his arms, waiting for Gavin to settle between his legs. The way he'd opened them, Gavin couldn't climb over them and sit sideways like he had before, and he huffed a little as he was forced to put himself on the couch between Ryan's thighs. When he'd sat down, Ryan pulled his legs together, effectively trapping him, and strapped the collar around Gavin's neck. He pulled it snug and tugged it lightly to be sure of the fit, before letting it settle. “Good boy,” he said, and nosed against Gavin's neck. “You're such a good listener, bringing the dishes in for me.”

“Y-You're welcome,” Gavin said, shoulders coming up as he ducked his head.

“No,” Ryan said, putting a hand over Gavin's belly and the other on his knee. “Pretty kitties don't say 'you're welcome' when they do good things. They try to get extra petting, or treats.”

The introduction of the theme made Gavin's ears burn, feet curling up with the need to hide himself but unable to fit on the couch, the way they sat. He let them rest on the floor, and nodded. “Okay,” he said, and swallowed. “I'll be good.”

“Excellent.” Ryan leaned forward again, around Gavin, and pulled the cat ear headband from the drawer of the coffee table. He'd hid it there that morning, knowing what he planned, and slipped it on Gavin's head. “Are you going to be a good boy for me?”

“Yes.” Gavin whimpered and moved further against Ryan's chest, practically melting.

“Okay. Let's cuddle for a while.”

Settling in again, Ryan rubbed circles into Gavin's belly, pressing here and there to massage the skin, while his other hand worked over the inside of Gavin's thigh. The touches were light enough to tingle, and Gavin shifted every few minutes, trying to work away the feeling. Ryan's hand on him kept him from moving too far, and soon Ryan stilled the hand on his stomach in order to focus on Gavin's groin, pressing just barely shy of his cock to work him up.

Gavin pushed into it harshly, whining high in his throat. “ _Ryan_.”

“Shush.” Ryan kissed the back of his neck, and nipped the skin with the edges of his teeth. “Wait a few minutes, and we can finally play. Be a good kitty and sit still for me, hm?”

Gavin groaned at the mention of waiting, but when Ryan asked him to be still, he nodded, and did his best to relax. Ryan kept his hand over Gavin's knee until he was calm again, pretending to watch the TV, and when he felt Gavin finally lower his shoulders and lean his head on against him, he brought his hand up again.

He traced his finger over Gavin's leg, running from knee to groin and back with feather light touches. Gavin twitched, and Ryan caught him biting his lip, breathing harshly through his nose. Ryan pressed a few more fingers against him, and moved his other hand to Gavin's hip, to grip hard. Gavin keened, arching when Ryan's hand caressed his cock, just briefly, before moving back down his leg. “Fuck,” he whispered, and bit his lip again.

“Good boy,” Ryan said, nuzzling under Gavin's jaw. He could feel how hard Gavin had gotten in the past few minutes alone, straining against his jeans. “You wanna feel better?”

Gavin nodded, and when Ryan's hold on his hip got harder, he said, “Please, Rye.”

“Wonderful, Gavin. You're doing so well.” Ryan pressed a few kisses under his jaw and licked the skin a couple times, before pushing Gavin off his lap. Gavin dropped slowly down to the floor, head falling in his daze and hips working lazily to get any kind of friction.

Ryan shifted quickly to lean against the arm of the couch, and grabbed Gavin's arm, urging him up. Gavin followed, laying on top of Ryan and resting his head on Ryan's chest, the headband butting Ryan's chin. Ryan grunted and tapped Gavin's shoulders until he shifted down, enough to get the cat ears out of his face. “So pretty,” Ryan said, when Gavin looked up, his face flushed red. “And you take well to these.” He fingered the cat ears. “They really suit you.”

Gavin swallowed. “Thank you,” he said, blinking several times. “I'm a little, uh.”

Sympathy kicked in, and Ryan frowned. “Do you need a break?”

“No, just, um.” Gavin worked his fingers into Ryan's shirt. “I'm not used to this. Being called good, and, and stuff.”

“Oh, the praise.” Ryan put a hand over Gavin's back and pressed over his spine, feeling the way it bent as Gavin flexed and worked into his touch. “I know how much you like being acknowledged. I thought this would be a good excuse for that.”

“A-Ah.” Gavin tucked under Ryan's chin, parting his mouth to pant against his neck before mouthing at it, trying to be considerate and failing as he lost himself to the compliments and the touches.

“Don't worry about that,” Ryan said, bringing Gavin's face up to kiss him. He parted Gavin's mouth easily, stroking over his tongue and tasting traces of their food left on his teeth. Gavin moaned, falling into the familiar pattern and working his hips gently over Ryan's thighs. As they parted to breathe, Ryan cupped Gavin's jaw. “Tonight's about you, Gavin. Just let me work, all right?”

“You're unfair,” he whined, but let Ryan draw him in for another kiss.

“But you love it,” Ryan protested against his mouth, working over his lips and cheek and back again to coax Gavin's mouth open. He let Gavin rut, panting harder as blood filled his cock and he forgot about their play in the wake of feeling good.

Soon enough, Gavin's speed picked up, working hard into Ryan's body, and Ryan took that moment to sit them both up. “Not so fast,” he said, and flicked Gavin lightly on the nose. It snapped Gavin from his daze, and he frowned.

“What the bloody hell was that for?”

Ryan leaned close, ghosting his lips over Gavin's ear. “I didn't give you permission to come yet.” He sat up and flicked Gavin's nose again for good measure. “Bad kitty. Wait until I say before you try to get off.”

Gavin reached a hand up to rub his nose, still glaring, but nodded. Ryan tilted his head, expectant, and Gavin sighed before he said, “Yes, Ryan. I'll wait.”

“Good boy. Now, get undressed.”

A long pause, as Gavin stared at him. Ryan took the chance to grab his collar and tug. Gavin gasped. “Undress, now,” Ryan said, his tone darker as he curled his fingers in the blue suede. “I won't tell you again.”

He quickly complied, stepping off the couch to throw off his shirt and jeans. He stopped at his boxers, looking at Ryan, who raised an eyebrow. Gavin understood that well enough, taking his boxers off as well and piling the clothes near the coffee table. His cock stood proud, hard and red, the foreskin drawn back over the head.

Ryan smirked, and gestured with a single finger for Gavin to come close. He sat on the couch again, one leg tucked under him and the other braced on the floor, dressed in nothing but the collar and headband. Ryan spent a moment taking it all in, his boyfriend flushed and hard and dressed in kink gear. “You look amazing,” he said, and took Gavin's face in both hands to kiss him again. Gavin went pliant under his touch, and Ryan pushed him back, into the other side of the couch so Gavin was beneath him, and Ryan pressed his fully clothed form over Gavin's warm body.

He spread his hands wide over Gavin's skin while he indulged in the kiss, feeling down his sides and through the hair on his belly, tracing just close enough to his cock to make Gavin whine, before returning to his hips and running over his thighs, parting them to settle in between. He kissed down Gavin's jaw, rubbing his cheek over the scruff and nibbling on the skin over Gavin's jaw bone before soothing the bite with his tongue. “Still,” he said, when Gavin arched again, and Gavin did his best to obey, fists clenching in the couch cushions.

He took a moment to bite gently at Gavin's nipples, savoring the touch he rarely got because Gavin didn't care to have them played with. Gavin squirmed a little, a whimper building in his throat, and Ryan quickly moved on, nosing in his chest hair and holding his thighs as he mouthed at his stomach. “Good little pet,” he said, sitting up to look Gavin in the eye. “You're doing well.”

Gavin breathed hard and nodded, barely able to meet his gaze.

Ryan braced himself. “Would you turn over for me, Gavin? Lay on your pretty little belly for me?”

At that, Gavin looked down, and Ryan got a smile that barely contradicted how hard he was breathing, how red his skin was. “What if I don't want to? What if I want to be bad?”

Ryan's eyelids went half lidded, and he leaned further over Gavin until he was on his knees above him, their faces scant inches apart. “Gavin,” he said, trailing a hand up to grab the collar. Gavin gasped and pulled against the feeling. Ryan gripped harder, holding him in place, and surged forward, crushing their lips together.

Gavin let out a squeak, and moaned, letting Ryan slot their lips together and run his tongue across his lips, tracing possessively and drawing back to nip at them, before kissing again with the same intensity. Gavin squirmed under him, fingers clenching Ryan's sleeves and yanking, unsure whether he wanted the heavy kiss to stop or not.

He drew back only when he thought Gavin had had enough, biting his lower lip a final time. “If you don't listen to me,” Ryan said, breathing heavily, “I'll put you over my knee. Now, turn over for me and show off that pretty ass, because I haven't gotten to see it yet.”

Gavin nodded, letting a whine slip as Ryan drew back and Gavin was forced to let go of his sleeves. He turned over as Ryan had asked, pushing into the cushions to relieve his cock until Ryan grabbed both hips and forced him to stay still.

Once on his stomach, Ryan slid his hands down to Gavin's thighs, pressing hard. “Up,” he said, and pushed lightly at Gavin's knees. It took a moment for the command to process, but when Gavin understood, he shifted to rest on his knees, his ass in the air.

The good thing about Gavin being horny as hell most of the time, was that Ryan learned to keep extra lube around the house. He'd done it with a few boyfriends before, the ones with insatiable sex drives, and it made it simple to take Gavin in whatever room he wanted. While they'd stayed fairly vanilla for a while, it didn't mean Ryan always wanted to put in the effort of bringing Gavin to their bedroom.

He only had to pull away from a moment to grab the lube in the drawer of the coffee table, put there after the day when Gavin had insisted on sucking Ryan's cock while he sat firmly on the couch, and Ryan had wanted nothing more than to finger him to orgasm afterward. The break to find their stash in the bedroom interrupted the mood, as good as it had still been to make Gavin wriggle at his touch.

Now, Ryan took the bottle he'd hidden and slicked up his fingers, eyeing Gavin and licking his lips. Chest pressed flush to the couch, ass presented openly, cock hard between his legs, Gavin was perfect. The collar and headband only added to it, putting him precisely in the role of 'needy pet.' “You want to be touched?” Ryan asked, setting the bottle beside his feet as he climbed back on the couch.

Gavin nodded eagerly, and said, “Please.”

“Mm, you're so good.” Ryan curled over his back, pressing his clothed chest flush against Gavin, and brought his lubed hand around to touch Gavin's cock.

Gavin gasped and bucked into it. Ryan was quick to clamp a hand back over his hip and growl, “Hold still.”

The effort at this point must have been heroic, but Gavin listened, groaning as he worked not to thrust into Ryan's hand, shaking with the strain.

Ryan hummed, pleased, and teased over Gavin's cock. It was hard and flushed, a delicious shade of red that Ryan wanted to stroke until he had Gavin begging. He ran the pads of his fingers down the side, running over Gavin's balls gently before moving back up and curling his fingers over the head. Gavin keened, pushing his forehead into the cushion and doing his best not to work himself further into Ryan's hand. Ryan patted his hip affectionately, and kissed the top of Gavin's shoulder, toward the dip of his spine. “That's it, you're doing so well. Such a good boy, being completely still for me.”

Gavin whined loudly into the couch. Ryan ignored it as he continued tracing his hand down Gavin's cock, sometimes wrapping around it to give it a few strokes but mostly leaving feather light touches and presses to the throbbing skin that made Gavin's muscles tense.

When Ryan thought he'd had enough, he leaned further forward, resting his mouth near Gavin's ear. “You want to get off?”

Gavin nodded.

“Words, boy.”

“Yes, Ryan, please!” Gavin whimpered, unable to resist a single thrust when Ryan tightened his fingers over the head of his cock.

“Good.” Ryan kissed the shell of his ear, biting the lobe briefly before he drew back, taking his slick hand with him. Gavin trembled, fingers clawing at the couch and head rubbing back and forth on the fabric to work out the energy, the desperate need to thrust and scream.

“You sound beautiful,” Ryan said, caressing down his side. “You've listened so well, Gavin, I think I'll reward you.”

Grabbing the lube again, Ryan added more to his hand, and put his clean palm over Gavin's back while he teased at his entrance. Gavin writhed, and Ryan let him squirm, his touch enough to keep Gavin from shifting away. He pushed in slowly, listening to Gavin gasp and feeling him clench. “Relax,” he said, working his finger in deep. Gavin nodded, letting out another whine.

Ryan didn't have the patience to tease for long, pushing in a second finger as he leaned over Gavin's back and peppered kisses down it, stroking inside and pressing on his prostate. Gavin cried out, bending to push his hips back and letting pleas fall from his lips.

“Ryan, I'm gonna come!” he said, and that made him pause, fingers still inside.

“Thank you for telling me,” he said, and brought his hand up to hook into the collar again. “Such an obedient pet. You won't come until I tell you to, right?”

Gavin nodded, his body shaking.

“All right. I think it's time for that reward.” With a final kiss and careful bite to Gavin's back, Ryan let him go. Gavin slumped a little, but kept his ass in the air, and Ryan admired the view while he took a condom from his pocket. He'd been waiting so long for this, and the sight of Gavin, flushed and begging for him, listening to every word so he didn't risk Ryan leaving him like this, sent heat straight to his groin. Ryan unzipped his pants and put the condom on quickly, relishing the fact that Gavin was naked and spread out for him while Ryan was still fully dressed.

“Atta boy,” he whispered, holding a hand over Gavin's back with the other curling over Gavin's tense fingers, soothing them with patient strokes of his thumb across the back of his palm. “So good,” Ryan said, and kissed across his shoulders. “Waiting for me, listening to everything I told you. Do you think you deserve to come?”

“Yes,” Gavin said, muffled against the cushion.

“Will you ask me for it?”

“Please,” he gasped. “Fuck me hard, make me come, Ryan, _please_.”

“Good boy.” Ryan's hand slipped from Gavin's to pick his face up by the chin, nudging it up enough to kiss him, languid and slow. Gavin was a wreck, barely responding and letting Ryan do as he pleased. Ryan nipped his lips and pressed several long kisses there to soothe the wound, before letting Gavin's head drop again. He returned his hand to Gavin's fingers, and adjusted the other over the small of his back, anchoring him, and keeping him still.

He waited, pressed up to Gavin's entrance, until Gavin wriggled and whined again. Ryan sunk in, relishing the feeling, mouth agape as the heat engulfed his cock. He could feel every muscle tense and twitch, and with the way Gavin clamped over his cock and fucking moaned so loud, Ryan thought the neighbors would hear.

“Pretty kitty makes pretty noises, hm?” Ryan breathed, scratching his nails lightly over Gavin's skin. “Nice little moans when you get all hot for my cock.”

“ _Ryan._ ” Gavin buried his face in the cushion, legs spreading a few more inches.

Taking advantage of the silence as Gavin lost himself, Ryan pushed his cock in, and held still, lowering himself over Gavin again. He tugged lightly at the collar, keeping Gavin present while he waited.

“You feel amazing. Tight and hot.” Ryan wasn't much for dirty talk, but it was part of the role, praising Gavin at every turn. “Want me to move?”

“Yes,” Gavin said, turning to speak away from the cushion. “I need to come so badly.”

“Then I'll make you come.” Ryan sat back, holding Gavin's hips with both hands and sliding out. Gavin keened, hands scrabbling at the fabric and ass clenching around Ryan, stuck between holding still like Ryan had asked and getting himself off. He wasn't allowed to touch his cock and it clearly pained him, the way he gripped the cushion and curled his hands into fists.

Ryan enjoyed the sight as he thrust back in, setting a steady rhythm. Gavin mewled, shoulders hunched and back arching as Ryan moved, trying to muffle his sounds but unable to stop all the cries as they spilled from his lips. He cried and groaned, hips working back, and when Ryan didn't chastise him for moving, he pushed back harder, taking all of his cock as best he could. “Ryan! Ryan, I'm gonna fucking--” Gavin gasped and tensed, his entire body going stiff.

“Come on, baby,” Ryan said, stroking his hands across Gavin's back, over his ass cheeks as he thrust harder. “Come for me, you've been such a good boy, listening so well.” He reached up, one hand fingering the cat ears before trailing down and grabbing at the collar. He was careful not to pull, but hooked two fingers in and held them there, keeping Gavin's head against the cushion.

The thrusts, how hard he was, and the hand in his collar, must have added up, because the next second Gavin was coming, spilling across the couch, and Ryan let himself follow, grunting and holding tight to the collar for a moment before he let go.

He dispensed of the condom quickly, tying it and tossing it in the trash before kneeling by the couch, on the floor. Gavin had slumped down fully, the cat ears falling over his forehead. His chest heaved, fingers going tight and loose as he worked away the energy left from his orgasm. Ryan kissed him on the forehead, running fingers through his hair and taking the headband off. “I'll be right back,” he promised, and stood, going to the kitchen.

Returning with a washcloth, Ryan ran it over Gavin's body, sitting him up for he could rub down the couch cushion. It would stain, and he'd need it cleaned, but at the moment he didn't care. Ryan let Gavin lay back down and put the washcloth in the laundry, before sitting beside him again. He let Gavin have the couch to himself, to spread out, and sat contentedly by the coffee table, close enough to run a hand over Gavin and lean in to kiss him.

“How are you?” he said, searching his face. Gavin looked lazy and calm, but also strung out, and it had him worried.

“Good.” Gavin shifted, putting his arms under his head to rest on them. “Really fucking good.”

“You're not too far gone, are you?” Ryan meant it as a half joke, but the faraway look in Gavin's eyes, how they were still half lidded and sleepy, took away any humorous layer in his tone.

“I'm fine.” Gavin leaned forward and pecked his lips, smiling. “Thank you, that was fun.”

“You're welcome.” Ryan reached under Gavin's jaw, trying to get at the collar. Gavin’s eyes went wide, and Ryan stopped, meeting his gaze.

“Leave it,” he said, pushing Ryan's hand away. “I like it.”

Ryan huffed out a laugh, putting their foreheads together. “Okay. I'll take it off in an hour, though, all right? I don't want you to get too lost in subspace.”

Gavin made a questioning noise, probably at the mention of a term he didn't know, but his eyes were already closed, and he was asleep before Ryan could explain it to him.


	5. these optimistic pleasures

Gavin needed some manners.

Ryan toyed with thought as they laid on Gavin's floor, pushing pieces back and forth across the board game they'd spread on Gavin's table. They had agreed to spend Friday night doing something different, and judging by the way Gavin's mouth dropped when Ryan came to his loft after work with a stack of games, from _Clue_ to _Candyland_ , he hadn't thought Ryan would take him so seriously. They set up a game anyway, and as it turned out, playing board games with Gavin was fun.

But he was terribly impatient.

He begged Ryan to make his moves quickly so he could get to his turn, and practically cheered whenever he had finished, eager to move his own pieces. Ryan rolled his eyes and let him indulge, but as the evening wore on and Gavin kept huffing every time he went too slow for his taste or made what Gavin considered a poor decision, Ryan lost his willingness to put up with it.

“Stop,” he finally said, when Gavin sighed yet again. Ryan had had the chance to make a choice between two options on the card he'd selected from the deck, before moving his piece, and as he was thinking it over, Gavin had started tapping his fingers on the table and sighing, ready to move on.

“What?” Gavin blinked, straightening out of his slump.

“You keep acting like I'm taking forever.” Ryan pursed his lips as he finally made his move and tossed the dice to Gavin. “Quit sighing like you've been waiting for an hour.”

“Well, excuse me,” Gavin said, turning his nose up in the air, “but I like my board games fast paced. I can't help wanting to get on with it when you insist on pondering every choice like your bloody life depends on it.”

“It's strategy!” Ryan gestured to the board. “That's the whole point! I'm allowed to take my time without you groaning about it.”

“Whatever.” Gavin shrugged and moved his piece, pushing the dice back toward Ryan.

They'd had little arguments like that before, bickering over small things. Sometimes there were hurt feelings, but they quickly got over it. As Ryan took the dice back and rolled again, however, his mind wandered to the many times Gavin had been impatient. His eyes drifted casually to the kitchen counter in front of him, and the innocent blue collar laying at the top.

He'd been particularly impatient in the bedroom. The thought made Ryan smirk, losing his anger as an idea started to form.

There were a lot of ways to teach patience through sex, with kink especially. Ryan could go through his collection and name five types of toys to use. In this case, though, he wanted to hit Gavin where it really hurt.

But he also wanted to engage him. So, the next weekend Gavin spent at his house, he tugged him into the bedroom and opened the closet, holding tight to Gavin's wrist when he gasped and made to run out the door.

“Ryan,” he whined, pulling pathetically against his iron grip. “I don't want anything to do with your bloody magic closet! Pick out whatever you want to do by yourself!”

“It's not magic,” he said, switching Gavin's wrist to his other hand so he could wrap the first around his waist and hold him tight. “And I want you to be part of this, too. This is the perfect time, so shush.”

Gavin squirmed. “How many things are we going to do, anyway? Are we almost done?”

The words pinged through him, striking Ryan hard. He stopped in his brief nuzzling on Gavin's neck, and spun him around so they faced each other. “Are you upset?” he asked, bringing both hands to cup Gavin's jaw. “Do you want to stop?”

Softening at his touch, Gavin shook his head, hands coming to rest on Ryan's chest. “It's been fun,” he said. “I'm just a little tired. It's a lot to do in a short time span.”

“Oh, Gavin, I'm sorry.” Ryan pulled him in, tucking Gavin's head into his chest and running a soothing hand over his back. “You should have told me, we could have taken a break for a while. We can do that, we don't have to jump right back in.”

“Stop, you git!” Gavin pushed him off, staying close enough to maintain their connection, Ryan's hands sliding from his back to his hips. “I'm not upset, calm down.”

“But--”

“I just wanted to warn you,” Gavin said gently, leaning up to kiss him. “It's a lot, and I'm . . . still getting used to being collared and such. If we could wait a few more days, take a bit of a break?” He bumped their noses together, and smiled. “No need to work yourself up, love.”

“Okay.” Ryan clasped his hands around Gavin's back, pulling him closer. “We can do that.” He glanced at the open closet, the shelves cluttered with kink paraphernalia. “But since we're here?” he said, turning Gavin back around. “We can wait, but I'd still like you to help me pick out what we use next.”

“Bloody hell.” Gavin turned to flash him a smile. “You're having fun with this, aren't you?”

Ryan laughed. “Maybe a little.”

“All right, then.” Gavin faced the closet again, eyeing the shelves. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well.” Ryan reached out and opened the second drawer, displaying its contents. Various vibrators, dildos, and what he really wanted, cock rings. “I wanted to try testing your patience a bit more,” he said, and pulled out one of the rings. “So I thought you could choose which one of these we use.”

“A cock ring?” Gavin swallowed. “You already test my patience, don't you? You have that whole deal with me not coming right away, and whatever.”

“Yeah, but.” Ryan shrugged. “This'll be less of a change than what we've been up to, not quite so new, and I think this will help you focus on what I want to teach you.”

That made Gavin turn again, brow furrowed. “Teach me?”

Ryan leaned down, pecking his cheek and sliding low to nip at his neck. “I think you need a lesson in manners, and I don't want you so focused on controlling your own orgasms that you can't pay attention to what I tell you.”

“Ah,” Gavin let out a little gasp as Ryan mouthed over his collar bone, shifting Gavin subtly to face him and give him better leverage. “S-So more of the dominance thing, yeah?”

“A bit more intense, yes.” Ryan straightened and looked him in the eye. “Is that okay?”

“Uh, yeah.” Gavin's hand fluttered to his neck, tracing around it in a circle, and Ryan's mind flashed to the collar, currently on the coffee table. “Okay, so you want me to pick one of these things?” Gavin turned again, distracting Ryan from idle thoughts, and he looked where Gavin was, at the group of cock rings gathered in a corner of the shelf.

“Whichever one you want,” Ryan said, putting back the one he'd picked up. “Some of them are adjustable, some are made of softer material, et cetera. You can choose.” Giving Gavin the leeway with this part, at least, would help him relax, if he felt less like Ryan was ambushing him.

Gavin leaned forward, peering at them. “Is there-- one that you'd recommend?”

But, of course, Gavin still didn't feel confident when it came to kink.

Ryan knelt over him, a hand on Gavin's back. “One of the silicone ones would feel better, probably, than the plastic or metal. This one's simple,” he said, and picked up a black one. “It'd fit well, if I remember your size correctly.”

Gavin flushed. “That one, then. No use in fussing over it.”

Ryan smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I'll keep this in mind and we'll settle for a few days. The last thing I want you to be is uncomfortable.”

“Mm.” Gavin touched his hand where it laid over his shoulder, swaying against him. “Appreciate it, Rye. Can we cuddle in the living room for a while?”

“Sure.” 

* * *

 

Tuesday seemed like a good day. They hadn't had a lot of film work, mostly editing, and they were a bit ahead of schedule, so no one was in a panic to have things rendered and uploaded in time to make the fans happy. Ryan and Gavin spent the weekend together, and Ryan slept at the loft Monday night. He wanted to stay there again, but had slipped the collar and chosen cock ring into his backpack when he stopped at his house for a quick lunch. They bulged slightly in the front pocket, reminding him of his plans.

He asked Gavin, when they were alone, how he felt.

“Tonight?” he'd said, and got a faint blush to his cheeks. Everyone else had yet to return from lunch, and Ryan had just gotten back from stopping by his house.

“If you feel up to it,” Ryan offered, ever aware of Gavin's comfort levels.

Gavin had shrugged before putting his headphones back on to edit the next video. “Sounds good to me.” And he left it at that, which made Ryan let out a pleased hum. The less Gavin freaked out about it, the better. He'd gone back to his own work on the couch, unable to stop idle thoughts in the back of his head.

He bought them prepared rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and boiled green beans on Gavin's tiny stove to go with it. They ate well and relaxed on his couch, playing a couple rounds of Mario before they turned the TV off and simply sat with each other.

Eventually, Ryan snatched his bag from where it sat under one arm of the couch, searching through it without moving from underneath Gavin, until he found the collar. “You up for this?” he asked, and held it up.

Gavin smiled and leaned up to present his neck. “Been waiting all day.”

Ryan latched the collar snug around his throat, spinning it a couple rotations just because he could. Gavin settled again, digging his fingers into Ryan's chest and humming quietly. “Feel good?” Ryan asked.

“More than good. I like the collar.”

“Good boy.” Ryan scratched Gavin's scalp, running down the top to the base and drawing another hum from Gavin. “Color?”

“Green,” Gavin confirmed, and Ryan grinned before nudging Gavin up.

“Come on,” he said, but instead of leaning down and ravishing Gavin, he picked up their dishes. “Let's get this place clean first.”

Gavin pouted, and sighed, following with his own dishes and handing them off to Ryan to put in the sink. He stood beside him while Ryan ran the dishes under the water and dabbed soap over them, sponging off the worst of the stains.

Creeping closer, Gavin rested his head against Ryan's back, butting into him. “Ryan,” he whispered, and clutched his fingers in the hem of his shirt.

Ryan put down the dishes, turning around so fast that Gavin broke his hold on Ryan's shirt. Ryan took his head in both hands and kissed him. Gavin gasped and moaned, rutting his hips up immediately. Ryan smirked into his lips, pushing Gavin into the counter. His hands trailed down his neck and hooked under his thighs, lifting him up until he could rest Gavin on the countertop, settling between his thighs.

“Jesus, fuck,” Gavin said, panting openly as Ryan kissed down his neck. “I didn't mean for you to bloody _attack_ me.”

“Whoops.” Ryan laughed and kissed him again, hiking his shirt up. “Want me to stop?”

“Fuck no.” Gavin arched into his touch, chest heaving. Ryan ran the pads of his fingers down his chest, and back up, slipping the shirt over Gavin's head as he trailed his lips down to mouth at his collarbone. Gavin moaned against him, running his fingers through Ryan's hair.

Once divested of his shirt, Ryan hurried to rid Gavin of his pants. He opened the belt buckle and undid the zipper, pressing a hand to his crotch. Gavin happily ground against it, little huffs of breath slipping from his lips. Ryan had listened to him and kept their lives calm, without kink, for the past few days, but with that he also staved off sex all together, and Gavin had been itching for this.

Ryan yanked his pants down, and soon Gavin was sitting there shivering, with his naked ass on the counter, curling his legs together to rub the skin for friction. “No,” Ryan scolded gently, hands on his knees to part Gavin's thighs. “Stay open for me, you'll warm up soon enough.”

Gavin nodded, mouth open and fingers scrabbling over the counter for anything to hold, and settling for gripping the edge with white knuckles.

Ryan bent down, lips hovering over Gavin's half hard dick. He absolutely loved teasing Gavin, trailing over the skin around his groin and thighs and wrecking him until he begged to be touched. This time, however, he had a plan, and didn't waste time before taking the head of Gavin's cock in his mouth and sucking hard.

Keening, Gavin worked his hips up, unable to thrust without falling off the counter. Ryan held his thighs loosely, running his tongue over the cock between his lips, tracing the vein and flicking over the sensitive slit. “Fuck,” Gavin spat, legs shaking with the effort of staying still.

Using one hand to stroke the shaft, Ryan quickly had Gavin straining and red, cock throbbing and the rest of his body flushed bright. He pulled off, and reached in his pocket to retrieve the cock ring. “Color,” he asked briefly, peering up at Gavin from his position on the floor.

Gavin looked down, and swallowed at the sight of the black ring in his hands. But then it drifted to Ryan's spit shined lips, and his eyes slid shut. “Green,” he said, working his hips forward again. “Bloody fuck, Ryan, please, I need you.”

Ryan smirked, and put the cock ring on, careful not to hurt Gavin as he slid it to the base of his dick. It fit snugly against the skin, and didn't budge much when Ryan tried gently pushing it back up. He leaned down again, running his tongue over Gavin's cock head, shocking a moan from him, before he drew back.

“Now,” Ryan said, wiping his mouth on his arm. “You interrupted me. Sit here, and wait until I finish the dishes.”

Gavin panted, head bowed, and opened his eyes to look at him. “You're kidding.”

“Nope.” Ryan kissed his temple, and moved back to the sink, picking up the dish he'd dropped. “Be a good boy for me, don't move or make too much noise, all right?”

Gavin groaned, letting his head drop again. “Fine.”

Ryan reached a hand to the side, shaking the water off, before tapping Gavin's collar gently. “Good. I'll be done in a minute.” And he went back to washing.

He could see Gavin shifting in his peripheral, feeling the cock ring and the way he strained against it, red and unable to go soft again as the ring restricted his blood flow. Gavin thrust his hips out a couple times, but Ryan side-eyed him, and he stilled, pouting but obedient.

The dishes took barely any time, and when Ryan put them away, he turned to find Gavin's brow furrowed, eyes focused on his cock, hands laid over his thighs with the temptation to touch, but not actually going for it.

“Careful,” Ryan said, situating himself in front of Gavin. “You didn't touch yourself when I wasn't looking, did you?”

Gavin shook his head, taking in a shuddering breath. Ryan cooed, holding his chin with one hand and drawing him in for a kiss. Gavin melted against him, hips twitching as a moan slipped out. Ryan held his cock with his other hand, wrapping slowly around the shaft and pumping. Gavin's breath hitched, and he leaned away from the kiss to drop his head on Ryan's shoulder. “Please,” he begged.

“Since you asked so nicely.” Ryan kissed his cheek, and fell back to the kitchen floor, taking Gavin's cock in one fell swoop. Gavin nearly choked, bucking into it. Ryan pulled off, huffing, and took Gavin's hands to lead them over his head. “Hold it, no pulling,” he said, and Gavin nodded, curling his fingers into Ryan's hair.

Ryan took his cock again, working it slowly with teasing licks to the head, sucking lightly to return it to full hardness. Gavin squirmed under his touch, unable to move far as Ryan held both thighs, letting out petulant whines and pleas.

Ryan took mercy when Gavin's legs started shaking, pulling off with a final lick to the head before taking the cock ring and slowly rolling it off. Gavin groaned at the pressure, precome leaking liberally from his cock. “You can come,” Ryan told him, and wrapped a hand over the shaft as he licked the head with his tongue.

Gavin yelped and came with barely a touch, spilling over Ryan's lips and cheeks. Ryan sputtered a little, and drew back, wiping his face with a finger before looking up at Gavin and, with a mental shrug, putting his finger in his mouth. Gavin's fingers tightened in his hair, before falling to his shoulders, patting down over his shirt and scratching at him, like he couldn't get the right grip he wanted.

After standing and wiping his face with a dish towel that Ryan made note to put in the wash later, he faced Gavin, saw the way he was panting with glassy eyes. “Gavin,” he said, and when he didn't respond, said, “Gavin, how are you feeling? What's your color?”

Gavin blinked slowly, shaking his head a little. “Uh. Yellow. Wait.” He put a hand to his face, rubbing vigorously. “I'm done, I think, I can't--”

“Shh,” Ryan hushed him, stepping between his legs again to put hands over Gavin's side and nuzzle against his cheek. “I got you.” He kissed a spot under his jaw, and breathed, taking in the smell of Gavin's sweat and shampoo. “You did so well, Gav, you did everything I told you.”

Gavin hummed at the praise, leaning into Ryan and putting his hands over his back. “'M glad,” he muttered, pushing his nose into Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan rubbed a hand through his hair, scratching his nails lightly over his scalp to give him a sense of where he was, knock him out of the subspace a bit. “You're so good, Gavin. Do you wanna sit with me for a while?”

“Sounds nice.” Gavin yawned, turning his head to press the side on Ryan's chest.

“You wanna keep the collar on? Or no?”

Gavin breathed heavily, and for a moment, didn't answer. Ryan was about to ask again, when he finally said, “Can you take it off me?”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Ryan kissed his cheek again, and nudged him to sit up so he could see the collar. He slipped it off and set it on the counter with the cock ring, to pick up later. Carefully, Ryan hooked his arms under Gavin and helped him down from the counter, waiting until he was steady before he picked up his clothes, dressing him slowly.

Gavin did his best to help, but mostly let Ryan do as he pleased, and when he was dressed, followed him from the kitchen to the loft, and the bed. Ryan laid him down and pulled the covers over them both, settling into the pillows. “How do you feel?” he asked, once they were comfortable.

Gavin took a second to answer, before saying, “Warm. And . . . slow. Like dripping honey, if that makes sense.”

“Yeah, it's fine.” Ryan put a hand under Gavin's head and urged him to lay over his arm, the other petting down his hip. “You got into a bit of a headspace there, Gav.”

“Felt good.” Gavin curled into him, fingers flexing against Ryan's shirt before tangling in it, holding tight as if to keep him there. “Different, though.”

“It happens.” Ryan tucked Gavin in as best he could, petting through his hair. “Is this something you'd want to try again? Or leave?”

Gavin yawned again. “Not . . . sure.”

“Okay.” Ryan had hoped for a more definite answer, but Gavin was falling asleep. He shifted on the pillows, getting comfortable. “Sleep well, Gav.”

Gavin hummed at him, eyes already closed.

  

* * *

 

“I don't want to live with Geoff forever.”

Ryan stopped with a drink halfway to his lips, and put it down. “Excuse me?”

Gavin shrugged, playing with his fork. They were seated in one of the booths at Ruby Tuesday's, out to lunch after a long morning of work. Gavin poked idly at his noodles, some fancy imitation Italian dish filled to the brim with herbs. Ryan had ordered a well done burger, but ignored it at the look on Gavin's face. “Something wrong?”

“I don't know.” He shook his head, taking a bite of the pasta. “It's just,” he said, when he swallowed, “I've been in that little loft for _years_ , and it's great, I've fixed it up nice and Geoff spent a fair amount of money making it for me. But every time you come over we have to spend time in this dinky little space, and the bed isn't as big as I'd like, and you can't really cook in it so we usually end up eating junk whenever you visit . . .”

“I like it,” Ryan said, reaching across the table to take Gavin's hand. “It's cozy.”

“Cozy isn't so great when I'd like to spend a weekend with you in my own house and still have the chance to sit in a different goddamn room.”

Ryan sat up straighter, brow furrowed. “Do you need space?”

“No!” Gavin set the fork down and rubbed his temple. “That's not what I meant, I'm sorry. Just, fuck. I want to have my own house. I can't live in a tiny, converted shed the rest of my life. I was thinking . . . I was thinking of buying a place.” He dropped his hand to look at Ryan, sighing.

Ryan's heart skipped a beat, and he barely resisted the urge to offer his own home. He'd wanted to move in with Gavin for a good while now, after expressing his love for him, and even more when most of what they'd been trying in the bedroom clicked. There was no telling what Gavin wanted-- his desires changed by the minute-- and if Ryan offered his house, Gavin might feel pressured to accept. He couldn't do that to him.

But it would be so nice to wake up with him every day. Make him breakfast, get dressed together, share sleepy coffee kisses in the kitchen. Everything they already did, but done every day with the knowledge that they'd always come home to each other. The idea curled around his heart and settled there, intense.

“Sounds like an idea,” he managed, coughing into his elbow to strangle anything else he had to say. “Do you know where?”

“Well, near you, obviously.” Gavin took another bite. “And then we could see each other more often. Not like we don't, but your house is a bit of a drive, and getting Geoff to take me when you can't give me a ride is a pain in the arse.”

“Sure.” Ryan picked up his soda and drank a large gulp. “My neighborhood is nice. Decent people, not too far from downtown.”

“And imagine being able to make my own food and not worry about whether I can cook a big breakfast in my house.” Gavin grinned at the thought. “You could have a whole big setup, Rye, think about it! Come over to my place and make a big dinner for me like a good housewife.”

“Hey.” Ryan booped him on the nose. “I like cooking but I'm no wife. Besides, my kitchen is enough for me, I don't need you trying to buy a place with some fancy set up.”

“Yeah, well.” Gavin twirled his fork again. “I'm not sure what Geoff will say about it. He did spend a lot fixing up that shed into a decent living space. Maybe he can use it for guests. It'd be a nice place to sleep after a long party, if he didn't want people sleeping in his house.”

Ryan hummed in agreement, unable to stop the little fantasies dancing in his head. He couldn't make himself ask, as much as he wanted to. Gavin was independent and deserved his own space if he wanted it. Buying a house was a huge milestone in life. How disappointing, to miss out on it simply because he was dating someone who already owned a house.

“Geoff will understand,” he said, when Gavin didn't speak again. He brushed some hair from Gavin's face and smiled. “You deserve to have a place to call your own. I'll help you look around, if you want. We can go house hunting, be like those reality show people.”

“Oh, god.” Gavin faked a gag. “Do _not_ compare me to those people, please. American television is weird enough without those shows that exploit people and make them all look like jackasses.”

“Fair enough.” Ryan took another sip of his drink, mentally scolding himself. He was brave where it didn't matter, and a coward in all the wrong places.

  

* * *

 

Ryan had one item left on his list of kinks to try, before he let them slow down and relax back into their usual routine. The collar would stay. Cock rings and vibrators were definitely a yes, and the cat headband would be something to play with occasionally. They wouldn't try food again. And he'd watch Gavin carefully for his tendency to slip into subspace, to make sure he didn't get overwhelmed.

What they hadn't done for their kink exploration, and what Ryan truly wanted to use before they settled, was domination. Specifically restraints, because Ryan had used his commands with Gavin and helped control what he did, but never acted the part of serious domination with him. If Gavin liked it, Ryan would feel better about ordering him around and being firm.

He already had ties to use, but they were strong, the kind made for people who didn't kid around with bondage. Ryan wouldn't dare spring that on Gavin out of nowhere.

They had another reprieve after trying the cock rings. Gavin had discussed getting a house, and Ryan did his best to support him, distracting himself with daily tasks from the thoughts of the domesticity that he wanted so badly. Gavin started looking online at the places around Austin, and Ryan let himself think of the last kink session he wanted to have before letting Gavin decide what they did from then on. That would be when this trial ended, when he asked Gavin what he liked and if he wanted to keep doing any of it, or if he'd prefer they go back to vanilla play.

The way he willingly wore the collar around either of their houses from time to time told him that at least one thing stuck with him.

He wanted plenty of time to recover if there were any problems, so Ryan waited until the next Friday, when Gavin stayed at his house, to ask him. He'd cooked them steaks, not as good as Geoff's, Gavin always said, and they were eating at the dinner table rather than in front of the television. Gavin scrolled through his phone between bites, keeping up lazy conversation until they hit a lull.

Ryan played with his food a bit, and sighed, resting his chin on his hand. The noise caught Gavin's attention, and he looked up. “Something wrong, Ryan?”

“Well.” Ryan sat back in his chair. “I have one last thing for our kink play that I wanted to try, so I wondered if you were up for a final round.”

Gavin stopped in the middle of chewing another bite of meat, swallowed, and spoke. “Final round? Are we . . . done, then? Do you not want to do any more?”

Ryan quirked an eyebrow, leaning forward. “I mean, we did almost everything I wanted to try except for this last thing. I'd be okay with stopping.”

“No, I--” Gavin pursed his lips. “I wondered if I did something wrong.”

“Gavin,” he said, sliding a hand across the table to grip his. “We've been doing this for a while, I think it'd be good if we quit the marathon session. I don't want to stop, I just think we can put a rest to it and not think about it all the time. Make it part of our normal routine rather than a special event.”

Gavin curled his fingers around Ryan's, blushing. “Oh. So, what's the last thing?”

“Bondage,” Ryan said simply, and Gavin nearly choked.

“I thought you said no whips and chains!”

“I did.” Ryan couldn't hold back a laugh at Gavin's glare. “I never said no _rope_. Besides, it's not anything to hurt you. You know how I'm pretty dominant, I like to order you around and stuff?”

“Yeah.” Gavin's other hand went up to his neck, and he quickly put it down.

“I wanted to go for something a little more extreme than that, before we mellow out. I would _really_ like to tie you up and have you begging for me, if you're into it.”

He could tell already that Gavin _was_ into it, but he wouldn't assume things. Ryan worked a thumb over Gavin's palm, stroking gently. “I have cuffs,” he said, “that are velcro, so you can break out if you pull hard enough. Nothing that would keep you trapped without me around to free you. And the ties are really soft, they're not actually rope. They won't hurt you if they rub on your skin.”

“And you'd be there the whole time?”

Ryan nodded. “Of course. Some people like to do the whole 'tie me and up leave me' thing, but I don't think it's that fun, or safe. I want to be able to watch you, Gav.”

That made him swallow again, ducking his head. “Sounds interesting.”

“You can say no.”

“No! Bollocks, I mean,” Gavin sputtered, “Not no to the thing, I-- yes. I _want_ to.” Gavin huffed as he stumbled over his own words, and Ryan laughed at the way he pouted.

“All right, all right. We'll try it. And then we can be a bit less . . . frantic, about the whole thing.” Ryan stood from his chair to lean over Gavin and kiss him, slow and sweet. The thought of having him tied up, at Ryan's mercy, made blood pool low in his groin, but he wouldn't do it tonight. Springing things on Gavin was a bad idea unless he'd been warned.

Ryan drew back, and sat down. “Come on, I didn't cook these delicious steaks for nothing.”

  

* * *

 

The weekend afforded them plenty of time. Ryan and Gavin went to bed Friday night, Ryan working out his frustration at the idea of Gavin tied up by grinding their hips together until they both got off. Gavin gasped and writhed, and when Ryan had whispered in his ear that he could finally come, he'd done so immediately, waiting for Ryan's word on the matter. It sent little thrills through him, and when they cuddled afterward, Gavin tucked his face into Ryan's neck, nosing at him with little noises until Ryan soothed a hand through his hair and shushed him.

Saturday they had a lazy breakfast of eggs, and played video games. Ryan worked on his laptop, testing code and browsing for games to suggest to Geoff for their next round of recording. Around noon, he put the computer down, and got up to go to the bedroom.

If they were doing this, Ryan was going to have _fun_.

Gavin was poking around the kitchen for a snack when he came back. “Hey, Gav,” he said, stepping up to him and flashing the collar.

Gavin looked up, and whined. He'd worn the collar casually before, but he also knew that when Ryan put it on him when they weren't already having sex, it meant he was to wear it for a while without getting off. Ryan made a note to use the cock rings again in the future and teach him the virtue of waiting for a reward, as he put the collar on Gavin's neck.

“Color?”

“Green.”

“Good boy.” Ryan ruffled a hand through Gavin's hair. “Sit with me for a while.”

They sat in the armchair rather than curling up on the couch, Ryan pulling Gavin into his lap and spreading his legs to lock Gavin between them. Gavin squirmed a bit, but leaned obediently into Ryan's chest, closing his eyes and breathing deep.

“Let's put something on from Netflix.” Ryan motioned to the remote on the coffee table, and Gavin grabbed it, handing it to him. Ryan flicked through the shows on his playlist and settled on something inane that they'd both seen before.

He put his hands over Gavin's hips, and they watched.

Like he had done before, teasing Gavin in his lap, Ryan let his fingers trail over him. Across Gavin's chest, over his belly, rubbing his thighs. He never lingered, touching all over and eventually dipping under Gavin's shirt and the edge of his belt line.

Gavin gasped and bit his lip, but didn't tell him to stop, only worked his hip and arched a bit whenever Ryan brushed a sensitive spot. The little dip in his hipbones was particularly successful, every time Ryan pushed his fingers into Gavin's pants. Thank god he hadn't worn his skinny jeans.

They were two episodes down when Gavin started panting and let out a little, “Ryan, please, you're killing me.” Ryan chose that time to reach in his pocket and pull out the second part of their play. He clipped the leash on the front of the collar, kissing Gavin's neck.

“Follow me, then. Up,” he commanded, and Gavin moved, only noticing the leash when he stood and it tugged harshly. Ryan quickly stepped close to loosen its grip.

Gavin felt up the clip where it attached to the collar, raising an eyebrow. “Why did you put me in a leash?”

“I _said_ I would tie you up.” Ryan kissed him quickly and tugged the leash, once. “What better way to make my good boy listen to me? Come on, let's go.” He tugged again, walking out of the living room, and Gavin had no choice but to follow, muttering under his breath but making no objections.

Ryan had taken the liberty of setting up the bedroom ahead of time. He waited for Gavin to settle down before he opened the door and stepped in, flicking on the light. Gavin didn't react at first, but glanced at the bed when Ryan didn't move, and gasped. “You--”

“They're the gentlest ties I have,” Ryan said, looking with Gavin at the cloth ties attached to the bed, and the velcro cuffs sitting on the ends of them.

Gavin breathed in, and shook his head. “Wow, I-- wow.”

“Is it bad?” Ryan turned to him, eyebrow raised.

“No.” Gavin licked his lips. “Not bad at all.”

Ryan grinned, and tugged Gavin in by the wrist, leaning down to kiss him. Gavin let out a startled noise, but melted into it quickly, reaching his hands around to settle at Ryan's waist, and returning the press on his lips.

Ryan tightened the hold on his wrists, the other hand tugging Gavin back by the collar. “Hold still,” he said, “and don't move unless _I_ move you.”

Gavin went wide eyed, but nodded, breath coming fast. Ryan leaned in to kiss him again, and Gavin responded automatically, until Ryan pulled the collar sharply, and his lips fell slack, letting Ryan slide his tongue inside, reacting but not pushing. Ryan took his time exploring Gavin's mouth, cupping his face and slowly leading him toward the bed. Once the mattress hit Gavin's legs, he pulled back, kissing lightly down his jaw and neck. “Lay down.”

Gavin did as told, sitting gently and crawling backward. Ryan loomed over him, burying his face in Gavin's neck and sucking harsh bruises, as his hands sought out the ties he'd carefully placed at the headboard. Ryan waited, keeping a hand on one tie while the other hand ran over Gavin's side. He bit at the skin of his neck, hard enough to ensure that Gavin was marked for _weeks_.

When Gavin let out a moan, arching his back to seek more of the touch, Ryan pulled away and quickly snatched Gavin's hand where it lay loose by his side, bringing it up and latching the cuff around it, tight enough to hold him without cutting off his circulation. Gavin gasped and turned his head to look.

“So good, sweetheart,” Ryan said, releasing his hand to let it sit, limp, on the bed. Gavin flexed his arm and tried pulling free, hard enough to get a slight give from the tie, but still tightly held in the cuff. “Velcro,” Ryan reminded him, losing the dominance in his voice for a brief moment as he kissed Gavin's forehead, before he moved to his other side and did the second wrist.

Tied to the headboard, collared, with no room to move, Gavin was utter perfection. Ryan sat over his hips and admired his work, pursing his lips at the sight of his t-shirt still on and the logistic problems that made. Oh well, they'd keep it on for now. He could deal with it.

Gavin breathed hard, chest rising and falling rapidly, and Ryan shushed him, soothing him with soft brushes of his lips over Gavin's cheeks. His fingers worked under Gavin’s shirt to push it up and run over the soft skin of his chest, his belly. Gavin whined, opening his mouth, but Ryan had shuffled down and was kissing his torso now, hands over his hips and sliding into his pants.

Ryan could divest him of pants, at least, and worked the belt away before shucking the jeans down Gavin's legs. He took the boxers, too, leaving Gavin naked from the waist down with his shirt rucked up to his armpits. He pulled at the ties, mostly to wriggle more, and Ryan laughed. “Stay still for me,” he said, raising Gavin's legs so they were folded up, feet on the bed, and Ryan could sit between them. “You make it so hard when you squirm.”

As Ryan removed his own shirt and belt, Gavin bit his lip, nostrils flaring. “Ryan,” he let out, tugging the restraints again. “I can't touch you.”

“I know, Gav, that's part of the point.” Ryan stretched his arms a little, and ran his hands over Gavin's thighs. “I want you at my mercy, completely.”

Gavin whined again, and then Ryan was kissing his thighs, up the soft flesh and toward his groin. He focused briefly on his cock, wrapping a hand around it and licking at the head, but quickly moved on to laying kisses over his hips and belly, working back down to run a tongue across his balls and suck more hickeys over his inner thighs. Gavin struggled, squeezing his legs and stretching them out in turn, and Ryan had to hold them still just to keep working.

Eventually the challenge was more than it was worth, to deal with Gavin moving so much to make up for his restrained arms. “You're not listening to what I told you, Gav.” Taking a leg in each hand, he forced them down, flat on the bed. “I'll have to tie you up even more.”

Gavin's head jolted up to look at him, mouth open. “What?”

Ryan grinned, and stepped off the bed, reaching underneath to reveal the ties he'd tucked under the corners, just in case. It took barely any time to secure Gavin's ankles, wrapping them in the same velcro and keeping him near immobile. Reaching up to Gavin's neck, Ryan unlatched the leash, no longer necessary, and let it fall to the floor. “There,” he said, and patted Gavin's knee. “Now I can do whatever I want.”

Gavin let his head fall back on the pillow, wriggling.

Ryan rubbed up and down his legs, squeezing, trailing lightly over his cock to make Gavin moan. “How do you feel? Be honest.”

Breathing hard, Gavin blinked, and said, “Trapped, but in a good way. Annoyed, because I can't bloody move. And . . .” He swallowed. “Excited.”

“Lovely boy.” Ryan moved up and kissed him, pressing his tongue over Gavin's lips and peppering kisses down his cheek. “Can you do me a favor, Gav?”

“Mm?” Gavin's eyes had slid closed, mouth open and red from the rough treatment of Ryan's kisses.

Ryan bit at his neck until he heard another whine, brushing his nose over the skin and inhaling deep. “Call me 'sir',” he said against the skin, feeling his cock twitch just at the mention. He hadn't had anyone call him that in bed in a _very_ long time.

“Oh my god.” Gavin laughed a little, fingers flexing in the cuffs. “Yeah, sure, I can do that.”

Ryan waited, and bit his neck again. “And?”

Gavin gasped, chest arching. “Fine, fine, uh.” A long pause, as Gavin figured out what to say, what Ryan wanted to hear. “Can you touch me? Sir?”

That sent a pleasant hum through his blood, and Ryan sat up, unbuttoning his pants and sliding them off. “Yes, I can. Wait for me, okay?”

Gavin nodded, and Ryan stood, tossing his pants away, finally naked with his hard cock in the open air. He stroked idly a couple times before walking across the room, to the closet, and grabbing a toy from one of the drawers. When he turned back, he held it up, and Gavin whined high in his throat at the sight. Another vibrator, this one bigger than the one they'd tried before, and bright red.

“Rules still apply,” Ryan said, settling himself over Gavin's hips and rutting their cocks together indulgently, but only for a second before he took the vibrator in hand and turned it on. Gavin flushed bright red, biting his lips. Ryan quirked an eyebrow, and said, “Don't come until I tell you to.” Waiting until Gavin muttered a strained, “Yes, sir,” Ryan shifted lower and bent over Gavin, pressing the noisy vibrator to Gavin's cock.

If the ties hadn't been in place, Gavin would have bucked him off. As it was, Ryan had to fight to keep the vibrator on him, grabbing his cock in one hand to hold it steady as he worked the toy over his shaft and pressed it harsh against the head. Gavin made a choked noise, fingers grasping at nothing in their binds. “Ryan, Ryan, sir, please,” he begged, hips twitching as far as he could manage with Ryan sitting on him, cock leaking precome. Ryan let his eyes slip shut for a moment, groaning as Gavin writhed under him, before opening them again. Gavin’s cock was hard and red, just barely away from releasing, and Ryan took the vibrator away before he could come.

Gavin hissed and started begging again, “Please, Ryan, sir, I need it--” and Ryan silenced him with another kiss.

Turning the vibrator off and tossing it aside, Ryan settled over him, stretching his body over Gavin and slotting his dick in the dip of Gavin's hip bone, rutting over the hot skin and moaning into Gavin's mouth. He could feel Gavin's cock against his side, so close, and carefully kept away, refusing Gavin his pleasure as he swept his tongue into his mouth and bit gently at his lips.

“Good boy,” he whispered between kisses, running his hands over Gavin's sides and up his arms. “So good for me, waiting for my command. So pretty.” He moved to press a few kisses on his chest, in his hair, and Gavin panted and begged all the while, trying to work his hips into Ryan and failing to do anything for himself, although the friction helped Ryan enough to make him impatient.

He drew back with a final kiss, and reached in the bedside drawer for the lube. He slicked his fingers at record speed, running one over Gavin's hole before sinking in, relishing the tight heat and imagining how it would feel on his cock.

“Such a tight little hole,” he muttered, shifting to reach up and tug at Gavin's collar, urging his head up until Gavin was looking at him again, eyes barely open as Ryan caught his lips and whispered sweet words.

He thrashed when Ryan stroked over his prostate, forced to settle at the hand Ryan placed over his belly, pressing in. Ryan worked a second finger inside and stretched, all too eager to be inside and fuck him. He'd have to detach the ankle restraints to get the right angle, but god, it would be so good, and he breathed harder simply imagining it, pressing his fingers in deep.

Ryan worked Gavin for a few more minutes, occasionally brushing his sweet spot but mostly preparing him to take it hard, planning to fuck him into the mattress and have them both exhausted by the time he was done. The next time he looked up, he expected to see Gavin with furrowed brows and biting his lips to keep back the noises he'd become so prone to making. But when Ryan finally looked, Gavin was slack, lips parted slightly and face smooth, relaxed.

“Gavin?” Ryan stilled, watching him. “Are you okay?”

Gavin didn't answer, simply kept breathing in and out, in slow, measured breaths. Ryan gently pulled his fingers out and sat up. “Gavin, say something.”

No response.

“Gavin!” Ryan moved next to him and held his face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over Gavin's cheeks. “Gavin, talk to me, safeword, say something! Gavin!”

“Mm.” His lips parted further, and he blinked, looking at Ryan with glassy eyes.

“Gav,” Ryan said, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Are you okay? What happened? Speak to me, sweetheart.”

Gavin muttered something he couldn't hear, and Ryan asked him to repeat it, pressing soft kisses to his temple. “Red,” he heard, and Ryan gasped.

Undoing the ties as fast as he could, Ryan gently brought Gavin into a sitting position, tucking him into his chest and rocking him, a hand running through his hair. “I didn't notice anything wrong, I'm so sorry, sweetie,” he said, several times, as he worked to get Gavin out of whatever headspace he'd fallen into.

Eventually, Gavin shifted in his arms, pressing his hands to Ryan's chest, and pushed back. Ryan let him go enough to look at his face, keeping his arms on him, brow furrowed. Gavin had lost some of the glassy look, and was panting, shaking his head. “Gav?”

“'M fine,” he murmured, taking a deep breath. “I . . . don't know what happened.”

Ryan tucked a hand under Gavin's chin, rubbed his shoulders with his other hand, doing his best to keep Gavin awake and aware. “I think you got a little lost, is all. It happens sometimes, with BDSM stuff. It's called subspace. It's not always bad, but-- you need to stay with me, all right? I don't want you feeling like you failed.”

Gavin pressed his face into Ryan's shoulder, nodding. “I-- was supposed to listen. But I got really frustrated. I wanted to touch you.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.”

“I think I let myself go a bit too far. I'm sorry, it won't happen again.”

Ryan bristled, and took Gavin's chin to make him look up. “It won't happen again because I won't _let_ it. It was foolish of me not to keep checking on you in a brand new situation, and this is my fault. Don't fret about what you did, you were perfect.” Ryan gave him a quick kiss, shifting them until they lay on their sides, facing each other. “I love you, Gav.”

Gavin blinked again, and seemed to come back to himself, smiling and slapping Ryan on the shoulder. “You dope,” he said, still quiet, but sounding more like himself. “You know this was fun, right? You don't have to act like we'll never do it again.”

“But--” Ryan swallowed. “I don't want to overwhelm you.”

“We'll take it slower.” Gavin stretched his head out on the pillow. “Maybe with just the dominance stuff first, and then the ties? But . . . we can take our time. Not like we don't spend a lot of it together anyway.”

Ryan let out a little laugh, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Gavin's ear. “Yeah, we have time.”

A moment passed, where they stared at each, breathing slow, until Gavin said, “I'm still fucking hard, you know. I'd rather not nap with a boner.”

Ryan grinned, shifting to lay on his back and look down at them both, cocks still half hard. “I admit, I'd like to get off, too.”

“That's settled, then.” Gavin clamored over him, settling over his hips so their cocks were lined up. “Lube?”

Ryan stretched to reach where he'd tossed it on the sheet and handed it to Gavin, noting with idle interest that he still had the collar on. Gavin squirted lube over his fingers and took them both in one hand, quivering at the feeling. Ryan gave a small, encouraging thrust, eyes sliding closed as Gavin found a rhythm.

He got hard again quickly, under Gavin's touch, and soon started little jerking motions with his hips, following Gavin's movements, toes curling at the heat pooling in his gut. Gavin breathed heavy, squeezing tight, playing with the head of his own cock before stroking them both again, thrusting to get the hot and heavy slide of their lubed dicks. “Ryan,” he panted, as Ryan put both hands on his hips, holding tight.

Ryan came first, groaning as he spilled over Gavin's hand, and Gavin followed shortly after, working himself through his orgasm until he started to go soft. He panted, looking at Ryan, and Ryan pushed his legs up, tugging Gavin by the hips until he lay down over his chest, pressing the sticky mess between them.

Gavin made a face. “Ugh, can we shower?”

“In a minute.” Ryan kissed the top of his head. “Thank you, Gavin.”

“No problem. I like getting you off.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I mean . . . for everything. Trying things with me, being open about it. You could have easily said no, and I would've accepted that answer.”

Gavin leaned his head back to look up at him, trailing fingers down his chest. “But that's pretty damn selfish, innit? I admit I was skeptical, but there's no harm in trying.”

Ryan snorted. “The Gavin I know would rather take the long route he knows than try a new shortcut.”

A whap to his shoulder, and a grunt from Gavin. “Stop it. I'm capable of growing up. I'm trying to buy a house, aren't I?”

Ryan brought a hand up, fingering the collar that still rested around Gavin's neck. “Hm, I suppose.” His eyelids were heavy, and Ryan knew any minute he'd fall into a post orgasm doze. His thoughts muddled together into a mix of contentment and laziness, staring at Gavin breathing slowly on top of him.

“Hey, Gav?” he said, after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah?”

Ryan bit his lip. “How would you feel about moving in with me?”

They'd spent the last few weeks exploring Ryan's desires. What was one more question?

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dwelling on the Situation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2515376) by [TerminallyCapricious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerminallyCapricious/pseuds/TerminallyCapricious)




End file.
